Have you found yourself lying in bed in a cold, dark room, thinking how messed up your life is? Or have you felt a deep sense of regret for missed opportunities? Or are you disappointed because you thought you’d be in a different place in your life right now, but you’re still where you were one, three or five years ago?
You ask yourself, “Why do I even bother? Nothing works out for me. I try and my efforts always bring failure.”
When we look at our lives in this big picture way, it’s hard to pull ourselves out of the woe is me.
So here are 3 big picture truths to remember when you feel like you may as well not even bother.
Truth #1: You choose your thoughts, you choose the outcome.
It all starts in your mind.
Our mind controls everything else. If you believe you can’t do something, it doesn’t matter how many tips or tricks you have up your sleeve. They won’t work, because you don’t believe you can do it. If you think you’re a terrible parent, you will be a terrible parent. Instead, think, I’m doing the best I can, and I will reach out for support when I need it.
Take the time to notice those thoughts that aren’t serving you. Create a new thought that moves you forward.
If you think, “I know myself, I always get distracted, I’m not gonna even try.”
Your new thought would be, “There will always be distractions and I can choose where my focus goes.”
Truth #2: You have far more control than you think.
When you feel powerless the world wants you to feel lost. But you’re not. You have control over yourself, your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
You have control over who you are in any given situation and how you show up. When you know this and take that control it helps you be a better parent, friend, employer, spouse, sibling etc.
In any given situation, ask yourself what you have control over. Let go of the things you can’t control. Put your energy towards the things you can control.
The question to ask yourself is, “Who do I want to be in this situation?”
Do you want to be the person that shows up and does what you say you’ll do?
Or, do you want to be the person who makes excuses about why you can’t do it?
You see. You have choices. Choices mean you have control.
Truth #3: You are not what you do.
You bring who you are into what you do. Stop being tied to your title as a lawyer, teacher, parent, daughter, spouse etc.
When you bring who you are into your work, your relationships, your parenting, that’s what makes them so special. The essence of who you are is threaded through every role you play in life.
Here’s a great journal prompt: What is it about you that makes people’s experiences with you special? Or, if you don’t know, ask people.
Wrapping It Up
Keep these 3 truths top of mind when you’re looking at the big picture of your life and it’s not everything you had worked or hoped for. They will ground you and shift your focus to what you can do.
