How you describe yourself impacts every.single.thing in your life. You label yourself as impulsive, obsessive, or flaky. And you most likely do this because someone told you this early on in your life. Now you keep playing that broken soundtrack. It’s time to stop bullying yourself.
Not all labels are bad. So if you’re telling yourself you’re funny, loving, smart, a badass, keep on telling yourself that.
The reality is most of the labels you use negatively affect your self-esteem and hold you back. You behave in all the ways that make that label true. It becomes your identity.
This should help.
When I was growing up, I was always told I was shy. And yes, I felt timid and uncertain as a child, fearful of being teased and bullied. I carried the heavy baggage of being shy into adulthood. Believing that label, I behaved as a shy person would; not speaking up, difficulty making friends, shrinking in group situations.
Shy, held me back from doing things I always wanted to do like hosting a radio talk show. And as you could guess, I never did because I was a shy person and a shy person does not belong on the radio. It was my identity.
Today, after hours and hours of self-reflection and coaching, I’ve ditched the old, tired ‘shy soundtrack’. I know I’m uncomfortable and scared out of my mind when I first put myself out there, but I no longer say or believe that I’m shy.
My new soundtrack is I’m afraid of being judged and I want to hide but I refuse to stand on the sidelines and make myself small.
In other words, when you label yourself, it’s a way of masking an underlying fear. The label becomes an excuse and justification for your behavior – usually avoiding something you really want to do.
So, who knows, I may surprise myself and a lot of other people if I start that podcast (today’s version of a radio talk show) I’ve been dreaming about.
Instead of attaching a label to yourself, dig deeper and identify the underlying fear of that label. Here are some examples of labels and underlying fears.
❌ Don’t say, I’m a perfectionist.
👍 Say, I’m afraid of failing.
❌ Don’t say, I’m a procrastinator.
👍 Say, I’m afraid I don’t know the first step.
❌ Don’t say, I’m a control freak.
👍 Say, I’m afraid of the unknown.
❌ Don’t say, I’m a people-pleaser.
👍 Say, I’m afraid people won’t like me.
❌ Don’t say, I’m socially awkward.
👍 Say, I’m afraid of sounding stupid.
❌ Don’t say, I’m lazy.
👍 Say, I’m afraid of messing something up.
❌ Don’t say, I’m disorganized.
👍 Say, I’m afraid of losing things so I never put anything away.
❌ Don’t say, I’m not good enough.
👍 Say, I’m afraid of trying something new.
Do any of those sound familiar? When you name the fear, you can deal with the fear.
It’s time to ditch the label and face the fear.
When you stop bullying yourself it will:
➡️ Expand your potential. You’ll be more open to exploring new skills and experiences.
➡️ Improve your self-esteem and your confidence in your abilities.
➡️ Allow you to see yourself as you truly are. Shift your self-talk to empower you.
➡️ Help you take responsibility for your actions. You’re no longer a victim of the label.
➡️ Show you how resilient you are and you can bounce back from setbacks.
➡️ Activate your innovative and creative mind because you’re no longer confined to the expectations of the label.
It’s your time to discover who you really are, do things that scare you, and to be kind to yourself.
What labels have you been given by others or yourself that you’re ready to ditch?