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Coach Carlene

Many of us are doing plenty of visualizations every day.

I’m sure you can remember a time when you worried so much about something that it actually happened.

The problem is that most of us are doing visualizations to create the life we don’t want; we are often using it to imagine the worst outcomes of things or worrying about the future.

Interestingly, research By Guang Yue, an Exercise Psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, has found that people who imagine themselves performing a task, improve their performance in that task without physically doing anything. 

Many athletes including Olympians use it to excel in their sports. Elite athletes use techniques like guided imagery and scripting in their training to do everything from simulate practice, to overcome fear, and even recover from an injury.

What is visualization?

Generally speaking, visualization means creating a mental image of a goal you would like to accomplish in the future. You use your thoughts to imagine a certain outcome, and what you will do to get it. 

Despite popular belief, visualizing isn’t about wishing and hoping something will happen. That’s fantasy. Effective visualization is future-oriented but grounded in reality.

There are huge benefits when you use visualization.

According to psychologists, visualization helps you:

  • Master a new skills.
  • Achieve difficult goals.
  • Improve confidence, courage and resilience. 
  • Improve memory & recall, focus, concentration & energy regulation. 

It also helps you to:

  • Calm down when you feel anxious or stressed.
  • Think creatively to brainstorm possible solutions and strategies.
  • Improve athletic performance and strength.

If you’re anything like me, you shied away from the practice or dismissed it as non-scientific. Well, here’s all the proof you need.

The science of visualization

It turns out that the mind can’t distinguish between imagination and reality.

When you have a thought, it triggers the same cascade of neurochemicals, regardless of whether you are thinking about the past, present, or future. Your brain is stimulated the same way whether you’re physically performing an action or simply visualizing it happening in your mind’s eye.

When you think about yourself nailing a presentation or feeling a wave of pride after finishing a big project, your body and brain perceive that as being real in the present moment, even though it’s a far-off goal.

The neurochemicals stimulated go on to affect your motor control, attention, and planning, which spur you into action. Because neurons that fire together wire together, this process of imagining future outcomes creates new neural networks in your brain that help you form new beliefs, take new actions, and adopt new perspectives. 

Take Control of Your RASS

In particular, visualization stimulates an area of the brain called the Reticular Activating System, which, put simply, scans your environment looking for new opportunities. That’s why when you start thinking about getting a new job or wanting to land a new client, suddenly new opportunities come your way. Your brain is scanning for them. Then, you take action on the newly available options and creative solutions you’re able to see.

Here’s another way of thinking of the Reticular Activating System RAS. Your brain is a gigantic detective. It is a filter. I just said your RAS is looking for new opportunities. Well, it is also constantly looking for evidence. It filters information. It lets certain information in, and blocks out other information. And guess who programmed that filter? You did and the people from your past. 

If you’re constantly feeling like you’re unlovable, then your reticular activating system is going through the day looking for proof of that. It will find every piece of evidence that confirms that limiting belief you have. 

If you think people don’t like you at work your RAS is constantly looking for evidence to confirm that belief all day long. It protects your brain from not letting everything in and only letting in stuff it agrees with.

This is why it’s so important to start reprogramming our RAS. You can reprogram your RAS to filter in meaningful, helpful information.

4-Step Visualization Method

According to science, you have to do visualization using this 4 step method. 

Think about a goal you have and move through the following steps.
Goal, Effort, Problem Solving, Emotions

For example, if your goal is to improve your self-worth I want you to visualize what your life looks like and how you’re going to feel about yourself when your self-worth has improved. 

Step 1. Visualize the goal.

Specifically, visualize the outcome of your goal. Close your eyes and in your mind have a specific picture of what it looks like in your life when your self-worth has improved. You may see yourself speaking up at work, you’ll see yourself talking more about your business, see yourself leaving a bad relationship, defining boundaries, going to the gym, taking care of yourself. 

Step 2. Visualize the effort

Visualize yourself doing the work to achieve your goal. For example, a writer can visualize sitting down to write for an hour every morning as a way of boosting their performance on that habit. Like a skier visualizing engaging her core, visualizing the work that goes into writing a book can be as important—or even more so—as holding the finished hardback in one’s hand.

Step 3. Visualize yourself problem solving

As you start to think about the future, worries will inevitably arise. All those “what-if’s”, fears, and anxieties will rise to the surface. When they do, use them as tools to make your vision more flexible. These are called “implementation intentions”. Think through the barriers that you might encounter, both internal(confidence, energy, etc.) and external (time, money, etc). Then, visualize how you’ll respond to each roadblock. 

Here’s an example: I’m horribly uncoordinated and fearful of tripping over myself when I speak. Instead of letting that thought hold me back, I visualize the absolute worst case scenario (falling on my face) and what I would actually do if that came to pass (pick myself up and make a joke about it). I mentally walk through exactly what I would say — even how I’d breath to lessen the panic.

You can use an “If-then” framework to work through these scenarios: “If I fall on my face, then I’ll pick myself up and make a joke about it.” or “If the phone rings during my writing hour, then I’ll ignore it and check for messages later.”

Step 4. Visualize your emotions

When you start to visualize, I want you to consciously think of the positive emotions you’re going to experience. I’m going to feel happy, proud, to stand taller, going to be so grateful that I made this change.

Marrying the specific image with the emotions lets you see, there I am, getting a promotion, signing a new client, going back to school, being happy not in that abusive relationship, there I am happy. When you do this, you are training your brain to have a totally different filter. 

Final Thoughts

You can try all the hacks out there, but if you keep picturing yourself failing, you will. Picture the goal, picture yourself doing the work and problem solving, and picture how you’re going to feel when you succeed. Watch how things turn around for you when you do.

It’s a strange thing because we are taught from childhood that we should apologize. “Say you’re sorry”, your parents told you.

But, what we didn’t learn is that apologies aren’t appropriate in every situation and can harm our sense of self-worth.

It’s a skill to use these powerful words when they’re necessary. And it’s a skill to be mindful when we’re misusing them and break the I’m sorry habit. When we do, our confidence and self-worth grows by leaps and bounds.

Here’s the truth off what happens when you misuse the words I’m sorry; it makes others feel you don’t feel good about yourself and actually reinforces your feelings of self-doubt.

Research described in the book You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation indicates that “excessive” apologizing — like apologizing when you really don’t need to — can make others feel you lack competence or confidence.

Here are the 4 Truths of the I’m Sorry Habit

Truth #1

Saying I’m sorry is your way of seeking reassurance.

I’m sorry if I talk too much.
I’m sorry by house is a mess.

This puts others on the spot to make you feel better. Notice how many times you say I’m sorry today. It’s exhausting and annoying for others to constantly reassure you.

If your messy house doesn’t bother YOU, that is all that matters. Love yourself enough to not need that validation from others.

Truth #2

Saying I’m sorry makes you and your needs smaller.

I’m sorry I’m so high maintenance.
I’m sorry I’m exhausted and can’t make it tonight.

When you apologize for your existence, you belittle your needs.

So, you were unable to meet up with a friend because you got sick and of course you said, “I’m sorry.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!

As if being ill is some negative virtue.

Or maybe, when you’ve been overworked and just want to relax you apologized for needing your own space. In reality, your friends weren’t offended or disappointed with you at all.

Remember, you aren’t a mind-reader. So stop assuming you know what others are thinking.

And most likely, if a friend couldn’t hang out because of exhaustion, you would understand without an apology.

Truth #3

Saying I’m sorry is your way of people-pleasing.

I’m sorry I can’t make it.
I’m sorry I can’t donate to that cause.

When you apologize, you’re hoping someone says, “It’s okay.”

You don’t want to disappoint people. You want to help them. You want people to like you.

You don’t need to apologize when someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do. You don’t need to apologize for things you don’t have time to do, or attend, or accomplish, when other people ask. And you definitely don’t need to explain yourself. You can simply say “No” or “No thanks.”

According to psychologist Marsha M. Lineman, apologizing hinders us from building mutual respect. On your end, it is unhealthy to apologize for simply not wanting to do something or having a different opinion. Practicing the art of the unapologetic “No” will help you instill self-respect.

Remember, turning yourself into a doormat doesn’t help you one bit. Other people don’t learn to respect your time or your words. After all, how assertive does a no sound when you throw a bunch of sorries around it?

Truth #4

Saying I’m sorry gives your power away.

I’m sorry but I have a question.
I’m sorry but I see it differently.

This makes you appear weak. Don’t be sorry for needing something more. Maybe the person offering the original explanation wasn’t really clear. When you apologize you make yourself small or wrong. It’s not about placing blame.

If you need clarity on something, ask with confidence. Don’t preface it with “I’ve got a question.” It sounds like you’re asking for permission to ask the question. Simply, ask the question.

Practice asserting your position and staying strong. Don’t apologize when you are rejecting a proposal, disagreeing with an idea or simply standing your ground in a conversation.

How Do You Stop Apologizing?

Start saying thank you instead of I’m sorry.

Instead of I’m sorry I’m late. Say, Thank you for your patience.
Instead of I’m sorry I’m gluten free, say, Thank you for accommodating my order.

Saying thank you is how you take your power back. You’re acknowledging that you have needs and you appreciate people seeing them and helping you fulfill them. Once you start doing this, you’ll be surprised how much better you feel about yourself.

When Should You Apologize?

Saying you’re sorry when you’ve done something wrong? That’s different.

We all make mistakes. We all do things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, or show support.

In fact, admitting you’re wrong takes confidence and shows leadership.

If you’ve done something wrong, the first thing you should say is “I’m sorry.” The last thing you should do is add a disclaimer, like “But I was really mad because…” or “But I did think you were…” or include any statement in any way placing even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.

Be certain that your apology is about them. There’s a huge difference between saying “I’m sorry you’re so sensitive” and “I’m sorry I upset you by saying X, Y. and Z.”

When you do something wrong you need to apologize.

Wrapping It Up

A lot of your apologies are unnecessary. Apologizing for your humanity, for getting sick, for being exhausted isn’t healthy. Be mindful and ask yourself if you’d want someone else to apologize in the same situation.

Motivation is a weird thing. Most of us feel like we either have tons of motivation or other times motivation is nowhere to be found and we are trapped in a spiral of procrastination.

There are two reasons why you can’t find motivation.

REASON #1: You’re waiting for motivation to magically find you.

One of the most surprising things about motivation is that it often comes after starting a task or taking action, not before.

Motivation is often the result of action, not the cause of it.

Getting started even in very small ways, is a form of active inspiration that naturally produces motivation.

You’ve heard of Newton’s first law of Motion?

“Objets in motion stay in motion…”

Once a task has begun, it’s easier to continue moving it forward.

You don’t need much motivation one you’ve started a task. Nearly all of the friction in a task is at the beginning. After you start, you gain momentum and make progress. It is often easier to finish a task than it is to start it in the first place.

You don’t have to be motivated to get through the stuff you don’t feel like doing. You just need to start.

Stop thinking you have to be motivated to take any action. Pay the bills, send that email, go to the gym. You’re not going to be moved to do it. But, if you take one small step to start, the motivation will come.

At some point, it’s easier to change than to stay the same. It’s easier to take action and feel insecure working out than to sit on the couch disappointed in yourself. It’s easier to feel awkward doing that presentation than to get fired from your job.

Remember, every choice has a price. Somehow we cross a mental threshold – usually after weeks of procrastination and in the face of a deadline – and it becomes more painful to not do the work than to actually do it.

Bottom line:

Start. Take one small step and YOU create motivation. Stop waiting for motivation to magically appear.

And now, the second reason you can’t find motivation.

REASON #2: You look for external motivators.

Let’s look at the word motivation.

Mot – means to move.

What moves you to do what you do; to make sacrifices, to choose good over poor habits, to do it when it’s uncomfortable?

The foundation of YOUR motivation is understanding who you are and what you want.

Motivation is an inside job. You can only find it inside of yourself.

Don’t look externally for motivation. It won’t be there when you need it.

Looking at what someone else is doing may persuade you, may engage you, may get you going temporarily.

You can use what you see others doing to ask yourself, “How can I tap into that for myself?” This moves you to discover who you want to be and what you want.

Being inspired, encouraged and celebrated isn’t the same as sustaining internal motivation.

Looking outside of yourself, at others, for something that will sustain you and last is a set-up.

Constantly looking to other people to motivate you keeps you stuck in the cycle of disappointment. It’s now your job to figure out what you want, who you are and what it’s going to be that moves you ?

Bottom line:

You need to find your WHY.

Something has to move you to do the things you need and want to do. Ask yourself:

  • What does move me?
  • Why am I not moved to do this thing?
  • Do I believe that I’m not worthy of the thing I want?
  • Why is this important to me?
  • Who benefits from me doing this thing?
  • How will things be different once I do it?

When you do the work to discover your WHY or WHY’s, your motivation is always there for you. It’s internal and it’s yours to motivate you day after day.

So I leave you with this?

What moves you?

Where to Go From Here

If you’re looking for a way to move forward on something you’ve been putting of because you don’t feel ready, you’re afraid of failing or you doubt yourself at every turn, hop on the waitlist for my course so you can be the first to know when the doors open for enrollment.

UNDAUNTED: The Art of Taking Action Even If You Doubt Yourself

When I was growing up I kept a pretty, pink diary hidden under my mattress. And of course, it had a lock on it. OMG, I would’ve died if anyone read my deepest thoughts, dreams, and worries. And I’m sure there were some secret crushes in there that absolutely had to remain secret.

Keeping that diary was so good for me and I wish I would have never stopped “paper-thinking” – or today it’s called journaling.

The last few years have taken its toll on me (and I’m sure you can relate) so I started journaling and it’s brought me so much clarity, and reduced my stress and anxiety.

So I want to share with you the 5 Step Technique that makes journaling easy – that won’t leave you staring at a blank page.

All of my fellow journalers already know this.

Getting your thoughts out of your brain and onto a piece of paper is often all the relief you need. Thinking about what you are thinking about on paper is sometimes just enough to allow you to stop the spinning thoughts in your head.

Now, you might think that journaling is just figuring out the garbage that you are thinking about during the day. Yes, that is one way to journal. But there’s more.

Journaling can basically be broken down into 7 categories.

  1. Your past
  2. Other people
  3. Things in the world
  4. Yourself
  5. Your future
  6. Gratitude
  7. Goals

All of these are things you can journal and write about.

So many of us sit around thinking all kinds of garbage about journaling. When you hear, “you need to journal,” do you think…

Ugh, journaling takes too long,

I don’t know what to write about,

This aint gonna help me do the darn thing,

I’m scared of what I might uncover,

I’m so ashamed of what I think so I’d rather not do it,

I don’t seem to go deep enough?

Here’s the problem. If you don’t change your attitude about journaling, you’ll be denying yourself major breakthroughs, a path to finally doing the things you’ve been too afraid to do.

We all got mental baggage that we can’t see throughout the day. But, the problem isn’t the baggage. The problem is leaving our baggage unchecked and unsupervised each day.

When you don’t see your default thinking on paper that means you get to see your default thinking coming true in your life in the form of self-sabotage, overthinking, or worrying.

And when I say paper, I mean actual paper that you write on with a pen or pencil. I don’t want you to type on your computer. I want you to write it with your hand. I mean, call me old school, but there is something powerful about sitting in a quiet room with a notebook on your lap and physically writing it down. Studies have shown your are having a deeper experience than when you’re just typing it. I’m not going to quote the studies, but I promise they’re out there.

So, here’s how I set up my routine. It’s very simple. I’m committed to ten minutes of journaling 3-4 days a week. I’m working up to 5 days. Yes, I absolutely could do longer than 10 minutes, and sometimes I do. But you have to set yourself up for success. So for me, 10 minutes is something I know I can do and a short-enough period of time that I will not let myself make any excuses not to do it.

Here’s the 5-Step Journaling Technique I use.

Step 1: Observe

The whole point of journaling is to just notice what you’re thinking about in any give situation. You want to ask questions that will get your brain willing to respond, like;

What problem am I trying to solve? What are the things I’m worried about today?

Another great way to get your thoughts going and get words on the page is to make a gratitude list because you want to explore some of the great things that are happening in your life, too.

You could also start with your to-do list for the day. Then ask yourself, “What are my thoughts about getting this done today? What are the easiest things to do? What are the most important things I could do from this list?

Remember, journaling for today can literally be three sentences about what you’re thinking. You just want to notice what’s coming up for you.

Step 2: Accept

A lot of people are judgmental of their thinking. I am one of them. When they observe their own thoughts, they start saying judgmental things to themselves like, “I’m ridiculous,” or “What’s wrong with me?” “Okay, listen. This is terrible. But I was thinking…”

Listen here. It’s not terrible.

Everyone has thoughts that don’t necessarily serve them. It’s not weird and it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Give yourself some grace. And when you do this, it takes the pressure off of journaling, meaning no thought is “bad”, anything goes, and it allows you to start taking some authority over this process of getting your thoughts and feelings onto paper.

Step 3: Neutralize

This is when you take all the inflammatory language out of your thoughts.

Instead of thinking and writing.

“Ill never be able to grow my business,” you instead want to write something like, “I’m in the process of trying to grow my business.”

You want to take everything down a notch. Take a look at the thoughts that you have that are highly charged with emotion and highly triggering.

I’ll go over my notes at the end. I’ll look for adjectives and adverbs and descriptors, and literally cross them out.

The goal is to strip your thinking down to a neutral place because it allows you to see more of the facts.

When the emotional charge is removed, you’re able to start thinking from a clean slate, which is way more productive and so much better for your mental health.

Step 4: Recalibrate

Ask yourself, “What’s my next best thought?

If you’re thinking something like, “I’ll never be able to build my business,” and then you neutralize that to “I’m building a business,” your next best thought might be, “I am doing all the things I need to do to build my business right now.” So your next best thought is, “I’m in it. I’m doing it. This is happening.”

Step 5: Activate

Ask yourself, “What’s the next move I can make?”

It could be, to just let it go and stop worrying about things you can’t control. Or it could be, I’m going to call that person I’ve always wanted to collaborate with for my business.

Answer it. No excuses. And do it!

Your Next Steps

That’s it, friend!

I don’t want you to get to the end of your journaling practice where you just feel bad. I’ve been there. It’s like I just literally threw up on the page and I’m journaling all the challenges I’m worried and frustrated about. I don’t feel like it was cathartic. I feel like I just complained for ten minutes.

That’s why I make sure I do this 5-Step Technique, especially when I’m having a really hard time, and I put a lot of negativity on the page. I know I’m going to gently massage these thoughts into something factual, honest, and actionable.

If journaling isn’t part of your daily practice right now, I want you to look at your calendar and schedule 10 minutes – that’s it – 10 minutes to work through the process.

It takes some time to get used to, and you don’t have to do it for every journaling session. But I really do believe that it makes a huge difference.

Now, there is one final thing I’d love for you to do, whether you’re new to journaling or not. Take out your journal and write down the 5 steps on the inside cover or somewhere so you’ll see them. (Observe, Accept, Neutralize, Recalibrate, and Activate)

It’s actually our thinking – not our doing – that keeps us stuck.

We have all these thoughts – and we use these thoughts as excuses for not achieving a goal, or handling a problem, or not making the most of the opportunities life throws our way.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • I’m afraid of making a mistake.
  • I’m just not confident enough to do this.
  • I just don’t have enough time or money.
  • I’m afraid of what others might think.
  • It just isn’t the right time.

Dang, we all think and say these things, quite often.

Excuses keep you stuck in limbo. You want all these wonderful things, but you will never have them because the excuses you make prevent you from moving forward.

The trick is to turn your excuses into action.

Here’s how:

Excuse #1: I’m afraid of making mistakes… I’m hesitant because I’ll probably goof this up.

Turn it into action by accepting the fact that mistakes are a natural part of life. We all make mistakes. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t make mistakes. No matter how much experience you have, you are still going to make mistakes. They help you learn and grow from the experience.

In fact, making mistakes is a natural part of success. As long as you take time to learn from your mistakes, they can lead to huge growth opportunities and insights that will help you move forward in a better way. Now, go make some mistakes. You’ll learn soooo much!

Excuse #2: I’m just not good enough… I’m just not confident enough to do this and make this work.

Turn it into action by acknowledging that self-confidence comes with competence (practicing skills) and experience. It’s perfectly okay and normal to lack confidence when you’re doing something for the first time. The more you do something the less scary it becomes. Familiarity breeds confidence.

Taking action is the fastest way to prove your fear wrong. When you take action, you learn that you’re safe and nothing bad happens when you try new things. Go do something new right now!

Excuse #3: I don’t have enough time or money… I’m sooo busy and I can’t even tell you where all my money goes.

Turn it into action by committing yourself to improving your time and money management skills. Managing your time and money is all about effective prioritization.

You will always find the time and money for the things you prioritize. Figure out what’s most important and then let go of everything else. Also, be cutthroat when it comes to eliminating distractions and wasteful spending. Make your time and money plans now!

Excuse #4: I’m afraid of what people will think… People are going to judge and criticize me.

Turn it into action by knowing that the only opinion that truly matters is yours! No matter what you do, you will NEVER EVER satisfy absolutely everyone in your life.

Stop trying to please everyone else and please yourself instead. Yes, there will always be someone who will judge and criticize you. You decide if you give that someone the power to hold you back. Now, keep your head down and focus on doing what’s important to you.

Excuse #5: This is just not the right time… I’ve got soooo much going on.

Turn it into action by acknowledging the fact that there is never really a right or a perfect moment to do something. Waiting for the perfect moment might mean that you miss out on opportunities that may never pop up again. With this is mind, commit to getting started in a small way today. Go take one small step right now and start!

Remember, all of these excuses – that keep you stuck in a constant state of procrastination – stem from a lack of confidence. Catch yourself when you are making these excuses and make a conscious decision to take action instead. Your future self will thank you!

The trick to accomplishing anything is thinking you can do it. In other words, confidence is key. Many of the confidence killers we inflict on ourselves are thing we don’t even realize we’re doing.

But as with any behavior, these habits that slowly kill your spirit can be unlearned. The first step, of course, is recognizing them.

Check yourself to see if you have any of these 10 confidence-killing habits.

#1 People Pleasing – saying yes to everything

Saying “yes” to everyone stems from a desire to feel needed and liked. When you focus on pleasing others, you neglect yourself. Pleasing yourself is not selfish. It’s necessary. When you focus on your needs instead of everyone else’s, you reinforce that you matter. Stop linking your self-confidence to others’ approval. Instead show up for YOU!

#2 Using Always and Never

Your language is a reflection of how you feel about yourself and feeds your confidence, or not.

Using the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ is a common unconscious confidence-destroying habit that leaves you feeling like you have no ability to make changes, when that’s hardly the case.

Anytime you find yourself saying ‘always’ and ‘never’, you are destroying your confidence. Because of their seemingly absolute, black and white, all or nothing nature, you’re setting yourself up to feel hopeless, helpless and less confident.

#3 Maintaining toxic friendships

We truly are who we spend time with. If we are surrounded by people who are lazy, complain or have a victim mentality, then that is who we become.

If there are toxic people in your life who threaten your self-worth and significantly chip away at your self-esteem, it’s time to kick those relationships to the curb.

Seek out positive reinforcement, not haters.

Get a tighter rein on the positive influences. Hone your friend group and be intentional with who you surround yourself with. Make sure you’re surrounded by those who have your best interests at heart, and who love you and want to see you thrive.

#4 Bullying Yourself

You say things to yourself that you would never say to another person. These sound like, “I’m not good enough. I’m a loser. Or, I’m so stupid.” Constantly speaking to yourself this way will have the same effect as if someone else were saying those things to you, which can deal a serious blow to your self-confidence.

#5 Focusing on Your Weaknesses

The more we talk about our perceived negative traits, the more we will believe them. Not only that, but focusing on those flaws leads our subconscious mind to look for evidence that this belief is true and create new experiences to support it. At a certain point, these perceptions will turn into a self-created reality.

#6 Comparing Yourself to Others

When you compare yourself to someone who you perceive as better than you it diminishes your confidence. We have the tendency to tell ourselves that, compared to someone else, we aren’t qualified to do our job or lack the ability to be a good parent, partner, friend, or listener.

But by doing so, you’re likely to feel as if it isn’t even worth trying to live up to your expectations, thus enacting a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, only compare yourself to those you can learn from. What are they doing or what do they have that you want? How did they get there? What attributes to you admire about them? How can you use this new knowledge to move forward?

#7 Spending Time on Social Media

Social media can have damaging effects on self-esteem and self-image. If negative comments or a lack of likes and interaction are getting you down, it’s time for a social media hiatus. Try to remind yourself that social media, in the grand scheme of things, is a pretty superficial place. And remember, the only validation that matters is the kind you find inside yourself.

#8 Not Admitting When You’re Wrong

Confidence is crucial, but over-confidence is downright dangerous. Knowing when to admit you are wrong is an important step in maintaining your self-esteem, because confidence doesn’t mean being right all the time. It also means being self-aware. You’ll learn that even when you make mistakes the world doesn’t come to an end. Own it. Admit your mistake. Forgive yourself. And move on.

#9 Neglecting Yourself

One of the main ways you can damage your confidence is not engaging in self-care. Not scheduling doctor appointments, cancelling training sessions at the gym, or eating like garbage send subconscious messages to your brain that you are not worth the time, money and energy necessary to lead a healthy life.

#10 Playing the victim

Thinking people are out to get you, that you are always wrong, or that you have terrible luck, are all damaging to your self-confidence. These thoughts can lead you to think the world is against you and that no matter what you do, it’s never good enough. Begin by reframing your thoughts to “That didn’t go as I had hoped, but next time will be better because I’m smarter now.”

When you are confident you will:
  • feel happy, valuable, fulfilled
  • feel worthy of the good things in your life
  • easily cope with life’s challenges
  • be productive
  • trust yourself to show up for YOU
  • stop looking for external validation because loving yourself is where true confidence thrives.

The fastest way to change the way you think about yourself is to change your behavior.

Identify which habits above you want to change and take one small step to start today.

Don’t forget to download your free confidence building guide.

The Habit of Self-Doubt: Crush It and Build Real Confidence

Are you constantly looking over your shoulder worrying about what others think of you? Is your default to assume they think the worst of you?

Ugh. It’s so frustrating isn’t it?

Here’s the thing. These critics only live in your head. Your brain takes those critics you’ve created and looks for proof that people are judging you.

But what if you stopped looking for your critics and looked for your fans instead?

Fans you say? Yes!

There are people you don’t even notice who are watching you and who think you are amazing. Oh yes, that is correct. You inspire others and don’t even know it.

You inspire others by simply “being.”

What you think is trivial is profound to other people.

You may not know who you are inspiring with your small, daily actions. But trust that everything you do may be an inspiration to someone.

  • It could be how you approach a stressful life event with calm and positivity.
  • It could be that you approach everything in the practical way.
  • Or, you show others that you can handle anything with the right attitude.
  • Maybe it’s your strong work ethic and the willingness to learn.

None of those are extraordinary talents, but the way you carry yourself through your life is both extraordinary and inspiring to others.

You don’t know you’re inspirational because you don’t know who is watching your progress. You’re not looking for your fans because you are too busy looking for your critics.

Maybe you won’t reach millions of people with your life. Maybe you’ll only reach one.

Maybe you’ll reach 10. If you can set an example for 10 people, they may not tell you you’re inspiring them, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re inspirational.

Imagine what you would learn about yourself when you look at the world through a different lens. What if people weren’t against you? What if you they were cheering you on? What if they were changing their lives based on how you are living yours?

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!

You are inspiring others simply by being you. Just by being you, just by being your unique beautiful self, you’re inspiring others to do the same for themselves.

When you be you, you give unconscious permission to everyone around you to be them and that is your greatest gift in the world.

The most powerful inspirations I know of aren’t the quotes, YouTube videos or articles guaranteeing “10 Steps to Success”.

My biggest inspiration is my Mom. She gets up every day and takes care of my Dad who has Alzheimers. I don’t how she has done it day after day for almost a decade. She does it with grace, patience, and always, always finds something to be grateful for on the worst of days. Her attitude and resilience inspire me beyond words.

Who inspires you?

Whoever it is, tell them.

These are ordinary people in your life who have inspired you and still do.

Next time you are touched by someone’s story, tweet, blog post, comment, photo, let them know how it made you feel, how it shaped your thinking, what thoughts it provoked, what it allowed you to experience, discover, understand.

Tell them the qualities they embody that touch you, such as resiliency, humility, grace, perseverance, and a can-do attitude.

Soon. you’ll realize the ripple effect that because of them, you inspire others too.

What would the world look like if we all stopped looking for our critics and noticed our fans?

What you pay attention to is a choice.

The only thing you need to remember is that inspiring people needs to come from a place of authenticity – the real “YOU”.

Stop giving the critics in your head all the airtime. Instead, look for those quiet souls who are watching you, inspired by you.

Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all of the big things that I want to do to make my dreams a reality.

Do you know what that feels like?

Your head is spinning. It can be hard to know what to do or where to start.

I’ve been playing around with this tool for awhile now and want to share it with you so you can beat the overwhelm, reduce stress and anxiety and move forward with clarity.

Let me introduce you to my version of The Mind Sweep.

What exactly is a Mind Sweep?

It’s an intentional methodical way for getting everything out of your head onto paper – or into a Google Doc, or wherever you’re capturing your thoughts in an organized meaningful way.

A Mind Sweep is different than a mind dump. A mind dump is also effective at getting things out, but it’s kind of like taking the mess of thoughts in your brain and creating a new mess on paper. And it can continue the train of overwhelm, because now you have to sort through all of the junk you just dumped out on paper.

Imagine pulling out the junk drawer in your kitchen and dumping it on the floor. That doesn’t really help much…the junk is just in a new spot.

On the flip side, a Mind Sweep is a lot more organized. We pictured dumping the junk drawer on the floor and making a mess. Now imagine yourself sweeping the floor in your kitchen.

When you sweep you’re not just randomly swishing the broom around to see what happens. No! When you sweep, you start at the edges and work in a certain direction. Every swish of the broom has a purpose, and you’ve got an end goal in mind.

That’s what happens when you do a mind sweep. You get everything out of your head in a deliberate and purposeful way so that you’re not dumping junk on a page. Your sweeping out the cobwebs so you can get more clarity and start fresh.

David Allen author of Getting Things Done, uses a Mind Sweep as part of his kind of complicated system GTD for capturing and processing information in your life and work so that you never miss a thing.

His version of a mind sweep is great, but I found it to be a bit much. I’ve played with it for a while, and this is what my mind sweep looks like now. I always tell my clients, their success lies in taking someone else system and tweaking it to make it your own.

HOW TO DO MY VERSION OF A MIND SWEEP

FIRST – Decide where you’ll capture your Mind Sweep thoughts. In a notebook? A journal? A Google Doc? Don’t overthink this. Pick something and start. I mind sweep the old-fashioned way with pen and paper.

SECOND – Decide when and how often you’ll capture your thoughts.

Will you do this in the morning or at night?

In the morning, the mind sweep can help improve focus by reducing distractions. At night, a mind sweep can help quiet racing thoughts and turn your brain “off” so you can sleep.

Doing a mind sweep takes muscle memory, just like any other habit. To start, promise yourself you’ll do a mindset sweep one time a week.

THIRD – Focus your sweep.

Organizing your thoughts into categories helps you manage them.

I sweep my thoughts into one of 3 categories; My To-Do’s, My Worries, and My Inner-Critic. Let’s talk about these from YOUR perspective.

CATEGORY #1: YOUR TO-DO THOUGHTS

This is the first category because I’ve found that these thoughts are at the forefront of my mind. When I do mind sweeps with clients, they also default to thinking about their to-do’s first.

To sweep your to-do thoughts, ask yourself; “What are the important things I need to accomplish today? Tomorrow? This week?

If it helps, think about your to-do’s in sub-categories like; work, home, kids, bills, parents, medical, vacations. You get the point.

Now that you got your To-Do Thoughts out of your head, it’s time to make a doable plan.

3 Steps to Make a Doable Plan

FIRST: Break out projects vs tasks.

Your list probably contains a mix of projects and tasks. A project is anything that has more than one step to complete.

Book a vacation is an example of a project. Choose 3 places to research is a task.

One of the most common reasons we end the day without crossing things off our to-do list is because our list is full of projects, instead of tasks. So we might spend hours working on a few tasks for one project, but not finish the whole project. So even though we made good progress – progress to be proud of – we still feel bad for not crossing it off the list.

When you identify something from your to-do mind sweep that’s a project, put the letter P next to it so you can come back to it later and map out the tasks within the project.

SECOND: Prioritize

With the tasks that are left, it’s time to prioritize. Remember, when everything is important, nothing is important.

Start with lightening the load. What on the list can you eliminate? Now that you see it on paper you may realize you’ve been hanging onto something that doesn’t need to be done at all.

The simplest way to prioritize is by using a ranking system. Go through the list and add numeric or word rankings like NOW, NEXT, and LATER. For more on prioritizing check out this blog post.

THIRD: Delegate and Schedule

Is there anything on the list that you can delegate? Maybe to a coworker, spouse, kids, a virtual assistant, an intern? What can you delegate and get off your plate?

For the remaining urgent things on the list, schedule them into your day and into the next week with time blocks. This helps you keep what you decide to tackle realistic. You can’t get a lot done if you’re in meetings all day. But you can get something done when you have an hour open between appointments. Schedule it and keep that appointment with yourself.

CATEGORY #2 YOUR WORRY THOUGHTS

Worrying causes a huge bottleneck in your productivity. When you worry, you’re all up in your head and not solving a darn thing.

Now sweep for your worry thoughts. Ask yourself;

  • What am I worrying about or dwelling on right now?
  • What am I overthinking?
  • What am I ruminating over?
  • What thoughts are keeping me up at night?
  • What thoughts are distracting me during the day?

Next, review all those thoughts an ask yourself; “What do I have control over? Is there anything I can do about this worry?”

If yes, move that action or task to Category #1: Your To-Do Thoughts. If no, choose to let it go. Worrying has never solved any problem. It simply keeps you spinning.

If you must worry, schedule a time to worry. Every time you catch yourself worrying, remind yourself that you have 30 minutes of worry time scheduled at say 7pm tonight. Maybe use that time to journal about your worries.

CATEGORY #3: YOUR INNER-CRITIC THOUGHTS

Oh, these thoughts keep you so stuck. They tell you that you aren’t enough. They tell you to play it safe. And the secret here, my friend, is that most of your thoughts are outright lies.

Now sweep for your inner-critic thoughts.

  1. What am I beating myself up for right now?
    It may be things like;
    I never do what I say I’m going to do.
    I’m always distracted.
    I never finish anything.

2. Finish this thought; I’ve never been good at _____________________. Or, it might come out of your head as “I’m a terrible writer, speaker, friend, parent, boss, leader.”

Review each thought and ask yourself if it is a fact or simply a thought.

Our thoughts are just that, thoughts. They are not facts. A fact is something that would hold up in a court of law. There is no emotion around facts. Thoughts are full of emotions. Also, notice words like, always, never, constantly, all the time, etc. Those are clues that the thought is a lie.

Now if it’s a lie, what else could you say to yourself? For example, “I keep putting off writing my resume because I’m a terrible writer.” That’s not a fact. So reframe the thought to:

“Now that I think about it, people have told me that I’m a great writer. I even got pretty good grades on my papers in school. I can tackle this resume.”

THAT’S IT! YOU’RE DONE WITH YOUR MIND SWEEP!

Enjoy the feeling that you have. You probably feel a little lighter now that your mind is de-cluttered and you have clarity like you’ve never had before.

I don’t have to tell you that healthy self-esteem matters.

It helps you make sound choices, live big and allows everything into your life that you really, really want.

And it’s not defined by a six-pack, a six figure career, or a feel-good buzz after six mimosas. It’s deeper. It’s how you feel about you. Sadly, many of us sabotage our self-esteem subconsciously and then wonder why we feel crumby at the end of the day.

Here are some new behaviors you can start practicing to boost your self-esteem wherever it is right now:
  1. Stop hanging out with people out of loyalty instead of intention.
    Are you hanging out with people because they would be offended if you didn’t? That’s one of the worst reasons to maintain a friendship. Your friends should inspire and uplift you and when you tell them your life goals, they should encourage you every step of the way.

  2. Start using your secret (or forgotten) talents.
    Gifts you stop using (writing, teaching, designing, the list goes on…) will make you miserable over time. Your skills exist to be used to bring joy to everyone who encounters you. They can even make a sweet side hustle.

  3. Put yourself first for once.
    Try saying *no* 3 times this week. Try it out!!! *No* is the magical word you’ve been looking for – and don’t waste a second feeling guilty about not pleasing someone else. If you have to disappoint yourself or someone else, let it be someone else.

  4. Stop procrastinating.
    Procrastination is directly related to our feelings of self-worth. Think how great you’ll feel to have the darn thing done. It won’t be nagging you when you’re trying to sleep or taking some much-deserved downtime.

    You choose to to free yourself from the burden when you just do it. Get busy and stop sabotaging yourself. What are you waiting for, exactly? It’s never the *right* time.

  5. Give yourself permission to walk away.
    Who or what situation do you need to leave? Change can be scary, yes – but nothing changes if nothing changes.

  6. Ask for more.
    People who ask, get. It’s that simple. But if you don’t feel deserving, you’re probably not asking enough. What can you test? Asking for a favor from a friend? Asking for an overdue raise? Asking for help at work? There’s strength and major results in asking.

  7. Don’t make excuses – make promises.
    What are your go-to excuses?
    “There isn’t enough time. I never finish anything. I already have so much to do. I’m not exactly sure what I need to do. I’ll wait until I feel ready.”

    Excuses keep you stuck. Making and keeping promises to yourself is the greatest form of self-love. If you can’t count on you, who can you count on? Excuses hold you back. Making and keeping promises to yourself moves you forward.

  8. Remember self-compassion.
    Self-compassion actually matters more than self-esteem. It’s about being kind and gentle with yourself no matter what. And that means being patient, loving and accepting of yourself… even if you know there is more work you’d like to do on yourself.

    Try approving of yourself a bit more. Remember what you like about yourself: “I’m good at things! I’m a decent cook! I do a strong 2 minute plank. I’m not a perfect friend, but I’m a loyal friend.”

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

Louise Hay

If you keep practicing these behaviors, your self-esteem will take care of itself.

Grab your free guide:
The Habit of Self-Doubt: Crush It and Build Real Confidence.

Do you want to be perfect or excellent?

I had to ask myself this question as I was listening to a Jon Acuff podcast. As I was listening it became crystal clear to me the moments I’m pursuing excellence and the moments I’m letting perfectionism hold me back.

Following are the highlights and my spin on what I learned from him.

When we strive for excellence, we have high standards that encourage us to make improvements, solve problems and do quality work. It focuses on the process. 

Perfectionism is the belief we must be perfect to be acceptable. It focuses on the outcome. Anything other than perfect is failure. Perfectionism is an attitude, not necessarily a behavior.

Excellence, unlike perfectionism, does not demand a sacrifice of self-esteem as it tends to focus on the process of achievement rather than the outcome.

3 Differences between excellence and perfectionism

  1. Excellence Launches. Perfectionism lags.

    Excellence: You hit your deadlines, stick to the diet, publish the book, finished cleaning out the basement.
    Perfectionism: You half wrote the book, you quit the diet, you stopped cleaning out the basement because you couldn’t find the perfect containers.

  2. Excellence energizes. Perfectionism drains 

    Excellence can still be tiring but you’re exhausted and elated.
    Perfectionism leaves you feeling empty and hopeless.
     
  3. Excellence encourages others. Perfectionism discourages others

    Excellence: People who pursue excellence are admired for their drive for excellence. You give everything you’ve got.  You keep your eyes on what’s important. You don’t nit-pic everything.
    Perfectionism:  No one aspires to be like you or to work with you. You’re seen as difficult, holding up progress, micro-managing.

It can be difficult to tell if we are in the pursuit of excellence or trapped in perfectionism when we are all up in our heads thinking, thinking, thinking. 

Here are 8 ways to spot perfectionism.

If you answer yes to any of these, perfectionism is running the show. 

1. Are the expectations for any goal you want to accomplish unreasonable?
I expect to lose 10 lbs in a week.
I will run every day.
This will be easy. 

2. Is the timeframe to accomplish the goal impossible? 
This trips you up with the speed of your progress. You believe you should be making faster progress.  
I should implement this new system in a week. 
I should get healthy in 10 weeks.

If it took you 5 yrs to put on the weight, why are you only giving yourself 5 weeks to take it off?

“Never give the problem 10 years and the solution a week.”

Jon Acuff

3. Are you obsessed about the results other people are getting? 

Perfectionism amplifies comparison.

“Never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”

Jon Acuff

It’s normal to compare yourself to others. But instead of comparing yourself to who is on the top, the biggest and best in that field, industry, or endeavor, compare yourself to someone similar. Someone who is slightly ahead of and better than you. 

Use this comparison not to beat yourself down, but to learn. What can you learn from this person and their experience that will help you accomplish your goal?

4. Do you forget to celebrate your progress and move on to the next thing before celebrating what you just accomplished? 

Perfectionism, eliminates the possibility to celebrate. It says that no victory is ever big enough. 

Perfectionism moves the goal post. It never allows you to celebrate at the finish line because perfectionism keeps moving the finish line. For example, you think, “I got all 3 priorities done today, but it would have been better if I could’ve got 2 more things done too.” You never get to enjoy the reward of all that hard work.

5. Are you suffering from burn-out?

If perfectionism is the standard, it’ s an impossible standard. You’ll never be finished. You’ll never be good enough. Ugh.

6. Are you overthinking and over researching?

Acuff says perfectionism turns the starting line on the ground into a wall of indecision and procrastination.

Let’s say you want to get in shape. You tell yourself this time is different. If you’re going to do this, you’re going to do it right. So, you start asking yourself all the questions. 

How many times will I go to the gym? What kind of workout will I do? How many calories can I eat? Do I take the right supplements? Where am I going to buy my workout shoes? How will I work this into my busy schedule? What’s the best gym to join? 

The pile of questions has turned your starting line that was so easy to cross into a wall you have to climb. 

7. Do you make up fictional problems to fix?

Perfectionism makes you think you must fix fictional problems. It tells you to fix problems that haven’t even happened yet. 

If you’re thinking about starting a business, you wonder what you will do when you must fire someone? What if they have a family? It’ll be awful. So, you decide to play small and be a solopreneur or not start the business at all. Sheesh, you could be years away from ever having to worry about that. 

8. Do you think everyone else has it all figured out, except you? 

Perfectionism cripples’ community. You worry your progress is too messy, your life is too scattered, and your challenges are too big to bring anyone else in, so you hide, and you do it alone or not at all.

How many of these did you answer yes to?

Now you know. 

What is one change you’re going to make to move out of perfectionist thinking? 

If you liked this go on and grab your free guide:
The Habit of Self-Doubt: Crush It and Build Real Confidence

I often wonder who I would be if I weren’t so afraid of being judged.

Have you ever struggled with feeling like you’re being judged? It seems silly to even ask. Maybe you’re reading this right now because fear of being judged has you staring at your phone instead of doing what you’re meant to do.

Fear of judgment is one of the many ways you doubt yourself.

Self-doubt is fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of being rejected. Fear of not being enough. I could go on, but I won’t. 

While I haven’t found a permanent cure, self-storytelling has become a great treatment… helping to keep my fear of judgement in check so I can keep doing what I was born to do.

Here are three stories I tell myself whenever I feel the fear of judgement, aka self-doubt, creeping in — they might help you too!

It could be situational or a sustained state of being, but if you’ve ever wanted to get out of a fear of judgment or self-doubt funk, these three stories will help.

Story One:

A story about a time when you felt judged and then realized it was all in your head.

Oh yes, we all do this. You were convinced you could read someone’s mind and you told yourself they were bashing you and judging you for not being good enough. But then, this person started talking with you and they complimented you or asked questions because they thought what you were doing was so intriguing, interesting, or even impressive.

Mind reading is dangerous, and never do we think, “Oh, how nice. This person thinks I’m creative and smart.” Oh no, our habit is to think they are bashing us because that is what we do to ourselves. I’m telling you; no one judges you more harshly than YOU judge yourself! 

Story Two:

A story about a time when you realized the person’s opinion about you really didn’t matter anyway.

Tell yourself a story about a time when you placed so much importance on one person’s opinion and you were bold and acted against their advice anyway and you nailed it! Reminding yourself of your courageous, bold moments puts fear in its place and self-doubt will join her. Sometimes the simple reminder of when you nailed it is enough to pull you out of the self-doubt rut. And if your inner critic tries to tell you it was a fluke, don’t believe it.

This need for external validation, the need to not ruffle any feathers, to please others, stops you from believing in yourself. People pleasing has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with your insecurities. Learn to love and support yourself and you’ll stop worrying about pleasing everyone else. External validation is fleeting. Belief in yourself is enduring.

Story Three: 

A story about someone else who really doesn’t give a thought to what other people think of them.

They go all in – two feet in. They don’t half-ass anything or make themselves smaller to make others feel okay. We all know someone like this. We secretly envy their courage and confidence and wish that it would rub off on us.

What things do they do that you are in awe of? Have you ever told yourself, “I wish I could be bold and do things that others don’t agree with and not care about disappointing them?” What are those things? Go ahead. Be bold. Do it. 

Want to learn more about letting go of the fear and believing in yourself?

Grab your FREE Guide: The Habit of Self-Doubt: Crush It and Build Real Confidence

Fall is your listening season. It’s your time to listen to the feedback from those around you and more importantly to listen to your intuition so you can know how to come through for the next year!

It’s your time to show up for yourself and accomplish the things you set out to do this year.

Finishing the year strong means pushing yourself past the finish line even when other people are doubting you. And especially if YOU are doubting YOU! It means running that extra lap even when you know you’ve done the work. Whether you are an entrepreneur, work 9-5 or are someone who wants to have more flow in your life, there are things you can do to set yourself up for success.

With only a few months left in the year, prioritizing is the most impactful exercise you can do for yourself. You must be realistic. There’s a good chance you won’t get everything done. And that is okay! When you focus on the most important and impactful things, you will end the year feeling accomplished and energized.

Before you dive in and start prioritizing, it’s important to understand the 7 Reasons Why We Struggle to Prioritize:
  1. We tend to suffer from FOMO (Fear of missing out). We think that if we’re not involved in everything that somehow, we are going to miss out on something. There is beauty in missing out! Missing out allows you to be more present on the things that matter most.
  2. We don’t like to let people down. Remember, if you give away all your time, you won’t have any time left to pursue your goals. Letting people down from time-to-time is something that must happen! It is the price of entry for growing into who you’re meant to be.
  3. We don’t have confidence in ourselves. We tend to struggle with prioritizing things that we could change the world with because we don’t believe in ourselves. Step out of your comfort zone, try something new, and prove to yourself that you can go beyond what you believe is possible. You are capable of more than you think!
  4. We don’t have a clear WHY. Ever feel like you’re moving through your day like a robot? You’re productive and getting stuff done but you’re bored and doing it all half-hearted? When you understand WHY doing these things are important or not so important to YOU it naturally finds its place in your list of priorities, or not.
  5. We don’t have clear goals. It’s not enough to say that you want to get better. Get specific! Articulate what “better” means so that you can create smaller goals to hit along the way.
  6. We get stuck in the stuff of life. If we think that everything is important, then nothing is important. We must release ourselves from the things that aren’t aligned with our goals and who we are.
  7. We don’t take a driver’s seat where our priorities are concerned. If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will. Their needs will fill your calendar at the expense of your self-care! Don’t lose sight of what’s important. Prioritize it. Be comfortable deciding that prioritizing yourself is more important than keeping everyone else happy!
How to Prioritize Over the Next 2-3 Months:
  1. Focus on what matters to you. Don’t get caught up in other people’s priorities for you. Everyone else in your life believes they know what you need most. But what if they are wrong? Be clear on who you want to be on January 1, 2022. Your priorities might look different than what others think they should be.
  2. Consider the trade-off. Before saying yes to anything, understand that saying yes comes at the expense of saying NO to something else that potentially matters more to you.
  3. Evaluate the impact. Think about everything you are juggling as glass balls and plastic balls. Which of the things on your plate are glass and will shatter when dropped? Which ones are plastic and would bounce back if they fell? Prioritize the glass!
  4. Ask yourself more questions. If I say yes, will I regret it later? Is this thing in line with my WHY? Make sure everything you say yes to acts as a catalyst to what you are trying to achieve in life. Otherwise, it is only going to set you back. Be clear on what you stand for!
  5. Just say NO. No is a complete sentence. You don’t have to justify anything! If someone else doesn’t understand, most of the time that is their issue. Boundaries are important!
  6. Listen to your gut. Give yourself a chance to pull away from the media, the obligations, and all the noise in your life so you can hear yourself clearly. Your intuition exists and is only ever compromised when you allow external things to drown it out.
  7. Check and Re-Check your CAPACITY. You’re going to go through different things at different times of your life, each requiring you to establish a new or adjusted set of priorities. This could change month-by-month. It’s critical that you have grace for the circumstances happening in your life and that you can adapt accordingly!
  8. CELEBRATE yourself. Certain days are going to be harder than others. If you are showing up for yourself, doing the work and trying as best as you can, that is worthy of celebration. You have chosen growth. Give yourself grace and don’t forget to celebrate yourself!

Looking to find your WHY and stop doubting yourself? Grab your free guide:
The Habit of Self-Doubt: Crush It and Build Real Confidence