Have you ever experienced the “What did I come in here for?” phenomenon?
In everyday life, it’s what happens when you walk into a room and forget why you are there! Happens to everyone. How do you know you’re simply having “one of those days” or if it’s something more?
It’s ironic that people with ADHD often forget things because their memories are actually good. Read More
The most overlooked distraction is our thoughts. For those with ADHD it is often the biggest barrier to paying attention.
Efforts we make to lessen external distractions don’t work for tuning-out our own thoughts.
Music, TV, bright neon lights are distracting to most. For others, those are crucial to keeping focused. What works for the neurotypical brain does not work for the complex ADHD brain.
When you notice your kids distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds, quickly bouncing from one activity to another, or becoming bored quickly, what do you offer?
If you tell your kids, “Go study in your room where it is quiet,” you are not alone.
I did it.
I didn’t know better.
Other well-meaning parents and experts share this as an effective focusing strategy. It may be for some, but not others.
Managing emotions is tough. For those with ADHD, self-regulation is a tremendous challenge.
Emotions, yours and your child’s, are the biggest obstacles to getting homework done.
When your kid is fired-up crying, screaming, throwing and crumpling homework, how do you react? Do you yell and threaten punishment?
Is your kid being rude, angry, hostile and disrespectful on purpose?
You vowed this school year would be different.
You got blind-sided again when your kid became a hot mess doing homework.
You tried to help. Things got heated. You yelled. You wish you could take back the angry hurtful words.
Your kid feels like a failure at school.
You feel like a failure at parenting.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
The double whammy of having ADHD yourself and raising a kid with ADHD leaves many Mom’s feeling alone, depressed, overwhelmed, and did I mention exhausted?
I talk to lots of Mom’s about their kid’s ADHD. Recently, I asked a Mom if she has ever been diagnosed with ADHD. She chuckled lightly and said she suspected she would be, if she could find the time to see a doctor. Sigh. Sigh. She’s not alone.
Moms rely heavily on the brain’s executive functions including, exercising good judgment, planning, being patient, keeping calm, time management, and organization. Moms struggling with these challenges look at their chaotic, cluttered, unorganized lives and wonder how other Mom’s keep it “all together”.
If you’ve got kids dealing with those same challenges, you’re bound to have more missed deadlines, general mishaps, emotional outbursts, and, just as often, moments that, at least in retrospect, are poignantly funny.
You don’t outgrow ADHD or get it as an adult although it’s so common for girls to discover it late in life. If you have it as an adult, you’ve lived with it as a little girl. A Missed Diagnosis. Depression, anxiety, and dangerously low self-esteem are all too common for those girls who’ve slipped under the ADHD radar.
The good news is that as awareness of the seriousness of ADHD increases, more women are getting diagnosed—an experience many describe as liberating. Many women say they’re happy they pursued a diagnosis, which has helped them make sense of their pasts while managing their lives today.
Knowing how your brain works is a big benefit! Building self-awareness around how ADHD shows up for you is super important in finding successful strategies to ease day-to-day symptoms. Some things have to be accepted, while others can be tweaked to make life go a little smoother.
Have you been putting off getting a diagnosis and/or treatment? What if your diagnosis and treatment could lead you to saving just one inattentive daydreaming girl from a lifetime of suffering? Wondering, who that could be? They are the girls and women hidden in plain sight….. a student in a classroom where you volunteer, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a sister, another Mom.
Helping yourself first, allows you to share your story with others. Your journey can become part of someone else’s journey – their beginning of self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-compassion.
More and more information is becoming available about women and ADHD. You don’t have to go it alone. If you would like more information or support for women and girls with ADHD please get in touch with me at support@coachcarlene.com
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