Pause Life Coaching

Are you a people pleaser? Has being busy and stressed out become a badge of honor you wear every day? Do you struggle with saying “no” to someone or something? Are there particular people in your life where “yes” comes flying out of your mouth before you even stop to think about what you actually want?

Most of us have been there too because generally speaking saying yes is easy. Saying no, well, that takes a little more courage!

In reality, saying yes all the time to please others is actually incredibly fake, builds resentment, and is a complete disservice to those you are saying yes to, when really you want to say no.

For some saying no comes easier than others. Studies have shown, women suffer from this more-so than men. Many of my ADHD clients describe themselves as “people pleasers.” Fear of saying no is real. The best way to avoid these fears is simply to say yes.

When you can’t say no, do you:

  • Fear being rejected or thought poorly of by others
  • Worry that the other person won’t like you anymore or badmouth you
  • Hold a belief that you are being selfish if you say no
  • Fear conflict with others
  • Want to be “nice” and seen as someone who contributes selflessly to others (even if you resent saying yes and contributing!)
  • Attach your self-worth to how many things you do for others
  • Allow other people’s priorities to become your own priorities (for reasons above)
  • Let others start to get used to you saying yes all the time, making finding your no even more challenging.
We have mostly been trained from a very young age that saying no is wrong or not okay. How many times did your parents get angry at you if you said no to doing something? Did you get sent to your room or grounded? Many of us have been stripped of our permission to say no from very early on.

So it’s no wonder that many of us have lost the art of saying no. But it’s not all bad news, because saying no is just like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a while. You can still train it back into shape!

Here are some tips that will help get your “no”-muscle back into shape so that you can focus on what matters to you and start prioritizing what you want for your life.  Read More

You suspect that, “I may have a bit of that ADHD.”

Perhaps you took my ADHD quiz.

Or you read an article. Someone showed you a checklist.
Maybe a family member has been diagnosed.

Now you’re worried. Wondering, “Do I have this mindset? Or could it be something else?”

Adult ADHD is real. It is estimated that 85% of adults living with ADHD are undiagnosed.

The general public is often surprised to learn that adults can have ADHD. While most people are aware children have ADHD, they don’t realize it also affects adults too. However, ADHD doesn’t disappear on your 18th birthday!

ADHD changes into adulthood. Hyperactivity lessens with age, and adults develop coping strategies; both consciously and unconsciously to help them succeed in the world. It means that ADHD is less visible to the casual observer.

Some adults have known since childhood that they have ADHD. However, what they are now experiencing are different challenges. Learning skills on how to do well in school, are now replaced with the need to learn how to do well in a work environment, manage a household and take care of finances etc.

You may wonder what’s the point of getting a diagnosis? You’ve made it this far in life, why bother?

You think the only reason to get a diagnosis is if you want to use medication as a treatment and you’re not interested in medication.

Fact, if you are an adult with ADHD, getting a diagnosis is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Here’s why: Read More

Feeling crazed and exhausted every day? I know the feeling. The fix sounds simple…make self-care a non-negotiable priority.

It’s likely if you’re not recharging your battery every single day, you’re walking around haggard, crabby, and resentful.

The first step in self-care is to be gentle and kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion.

Next, give yourself permission to get support around your self-care. Yes, you can ask for help. It’s a positive healthy part of life.

Now, make a commitment with your spouse, a friend, your sister, anyone who loves you a lot and scares you just a little to hold you accountable. Ok? You got your person? Good.

Lastly, be realistic. I know you have superhuman powers. After all you’re a woman. It goes without saying. Choose just one of the following hacks to start. Not all of them. Once you’ve made one of these part of your life, add on another. Read More

Looking back I cringe, “Why did I waste precious time struggling alone? Why didn’t I see that other women go through the same thing?

Mostly, because I either wasn’t listening, or women are not talking enough or at all about this.

As an ADHD Coach I witness everyday how ADHD undermines your planning, organizing, prioritizing, tracking progress, finishing tasks, and managing time, right? We know these symptoms are a result of low amounts or sluggish dopamine and norepinephrine (neurotransmitters in the brain).

Well, there’s another culprit that drags women down. It’s hormones. Read More

Grown women don’t have ADD, do they?!?

Oh, yes. In fact, women are the fastest growing population of newly diagnosed ADHDers.

Do any of these sound like you?

“I know exactly what I need to do, but I just can’t get myself to do it.”

“If I’m so smart, why do I feel so dumb?

“Why do the simplest things seem so hard for me?”

“Why can’t I get my act together?”

Have you ever felt this way? If so, you aren’t alone — in your conflicting emotions, your healing, or your chance at a new start.

Maybe you’ve gotten the ADHD diagnosis or you suspect you or someone you care about lives with it.

Here are seven steps to get the ball rolling to understanding yourself better and living the life you want to live your way!

Read More