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Coach Carlene

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Have you ever made a list of goals and thought to yourself, “Tomorrow is the day! I’m gonna wake up and get started right away!”

But tomorrow morning comes, and you hit that snooze button a few too many times. Then you go workout (good for you, friend!) and your friend asks you to go for coffee. Of course, you’re excited to catch up, so you go. Coffee turns into several hours. Heck, you’re ready for lunch by the time you head home!

You realize it’s already past noon and you haven’t started on any of those things you promised yourself you would tackle.

Your desire to start fresh “tomorrow” has come and gone and you wake up the next morning thinking – why can’t I just make myself do what I say I need to do, especially when I want to do better?

You are not alone.

Making and keeping promises to yourself is what accountability is all about.

But let’s look at accountability from a different angle. I think it will give you some clarity.

Let’s dive into what accountability is NOT!

#1. Accountability is NOT something someone does for you.

One of the most common reasons people come to coaching is because they struggle to hold themselves accountable. They think that having a coach is magically going to make them do the things they say they’re going to do.

But, accountability isn’t something someone does for you. YOU do it for yourself.

You can say you’re going to use all the accountability strategies but they won’t work unless YOU put them in place. Makes sense, right?

TRY THIS

It’s so important to make and keep promises to yourself. Come up with a few promises that embody the type of character you want to represent. For example,

  • I promise to try my best.
  • I promise to finish what I start.
  • I promise to start.
  • I promise to take care of myself.

You have to start acting like the person you want to be.

#2. Accountability is NOT the same as motivation.

You have to actually want to be accountable. You have to be motivated and accountability will follow.

In order to find motivation you need to have clarity and desire. Without them, you will find it almost impossible to keep your promises to yourself.

If you don’t know what your goal is and why it matters to you, what’s your motivation to do the work?

TRY THIS

Get clear on your goals.

  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • Why is this important to you?
  • How is your life affected by not accomplishing these goals?
  • What is your first step in achieving your goal?
  • What potential obstacles do you anticipate and how do you think you can overcome them?

Now that you know your WHAT and your WHY you have the motivation to take action.

Remember, desire is created by the negative consequences or positive outcomes you’ll experience by holding or NOT holding yourself accountable.

You have to want to keep your job, get that promotion, show up for your friends and family or create that business.

Without clarity and desire accountability will always be an uphill battle.

#3. Accountability is NOT a one-time thing.

Accountability is a habit. And habits are not a one-time, sometime thing; They’re an all-time thing.

There are tiny daily habits that encourage and support accountability. And there are tiny daily habits that kill accountability.

Habits that Kill Accountability :

  • Hitting your snooze button.

Going in and out of sleep makes you more tired. It’s been found that you lose 2-4 hours of focused productivity each day you hit that snooze button.

  • Scrolling on social media.

I got a rude awakening when I started getting those notifications on my phone at the end of the week on the amount of time I spend looking at that screen every day and it was shocking. There is no reason I should spend 4-5 hours a day mindlessly scrolling. Honestly, what a waste of time.

Habits that Encourage Accountability

  • Making your bed every day.

Yes, I make my bed even when I’m traveling and staying in a hotel. It tells my brain it’s time to get up and start my day. it’s a small promise that I keep to myself. And doesn’t a made bed look pretty?

  • Planning your day the night before.

Do you get out of bed and just start your day without a plan? Even if you have a few anchor point to your routine, such as leaving the house at a particular time each morning, having a better map of your day can help you hold yourself accountable.

If you know you want to meditate, exercise, pay the bills, chances are they will not happen. Scheduling the tasks that are necessary to move you forward on your goals will help you hold yourself accountable.

TRY THIS

Track your habits in detail for a week. It will help you become aware of how you are spending your time.

Accountability starts with awareness and happens because of the tiny habits that support you keeping your promises to yourself. Once you know your habits, tweak them to encourage a mindset of accountability.

#4. Accountability is NOT about you feeling ready.

We do not live in an ideal world. There are rarely perfect circumstances, so many things are out of our control. But, you still have the ability to make the best decisions possible and focus on the things you can control.

TRY THIS

Begin by adjusting your mindset from an “I’m just so scared and uncertain” to an “It’s okay to do things and stumble along the way” mindset. To do this you have to acknowledge and accept the following:

  • Every choice has a consequence.
  • Long lasting change comes from long-term effort.
  • Stumbling and erring are part of the process, not an end to the work.
  • I need to be brave and face my truths, which sometimes means answering tough questions about who I am, what actions I take, and what I’m willing (and not willing) to sacrifice.
  • Investing in myself is important and worth the time, money and effort as needed.

#5 Accountability does NOT mean that you don’t get stuck.

If you’re doing anything new or challenging, you will get stuck! So it’s best to prepare for it.

TRY THIS

Take a moment to think of what stands in your way of making progress and come up with strategies to help you overcome or bypass these situations.

Here are some common ones:

Procrastination:

Identify your biggest distractions and come up with strategies to manage them. For example, if you’re distracted by your phone, keep it in another room and set your timer for one hour. When the alarms sounds, you can check your phone. Own up to what distracts you and figure out how to eliminate it.

Negative thoughts:

How you choose to think and frame things can make all the difference with your approach and commitment to working on your goals. Instead of thinking, “I can’t,” replace these words with, “I’ll try.” Instead of spending time at the end of your day focusing on the things that went wrong, focus on the things that went right. The words and perspectives you choose are in your control, so create a can-do mindset.

Are you ready now to take charge and hold yourself accountable?

The bottom line is, no matter how many motivational posts or self-help books you read, YOU have to do the work. You have to hold yourself accountable for the choices you make and the consequences they bring.

What is one thing you’re going to put in practice from this article? Tell me in the comments.

Looking for the best way to plan your goals and make room for everything going on in your life?

Check out the Fail-Proof Planning System – Mini-Course

Busy, busy, busy – mindlessly doing whatever pops up next.

This is how so many of us move through our day. We are constantly in reaction mode, pleasing everyone but ourselves. It doesn’t have to be this way.

You can choose to run your day instead of letting your day run you.

Let’s face it. Left to its own devices, your day can run you into the ground leaving you feeling like a failure at the end of every day.

Here are a few things that I avoid to stay on top of my game, especially when I start to feel a little burnout.

These things help me stay organized, on task and also give me a little bit of time and space to just breathe. What a concept, right?

#1 Avoid ending the workday without a plan for the next day.

I preach this over and over because it’s that big of a deal.

To stay on top of my game, I end the workday with a plan for the next day, and it’s in my calendar.

If I’m going to plan for five tasks tomorrow, five things that I’m going to get done tomorrow, like record a podcast, get on a call with my ads team, troubleshoot my quiz, whatever it might be, then I actually have time slots on my calendar for each of those tasks.

It’s called scheduling it. Give every task a time slot.

Have you ever sat down and wrote a list of all the things you’re going to get done that day, and then you only get half of them done?

Oh yes, I’ve done that and I’d look at that list and realize I never had the time to do all of it. There weren’t enough hours in the day to get all of this stuff done. And I was sick of feeling defeated every day, that I had a list of ten things, and only five got done. I felt like a loser at the end of the day.

The lesson here is don’t set yourself up to feel like a failure.

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is a reality check of “What’s really possible today?”

It’s not about lowering our expectations, or going easy on ourselves. It’s about setting small, daily, attainable goals.

And when we accomplish these things every day it boosts our productivity, our confidence and our motivation. It creates momentum.

I always, always, always look at my calendar the day before. I’m never surprised in the morning about what’s to come. When I’m shutting things down at, let’s say 5p.m., I take time to look at tomorrow’s calendar and make sure I’m very clear about how the day is going to go. If anything isn’t sitting well, I’ll figure it out in advance, because I love to hit the ground running in the morning.

When you fiercely manage your calendar (and yourself), you win the day. When I’m done at the end of the day, I feel very accomplished and that hasn’t always been the case.

If you’re ending your workday feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, overworked, just mad that you didn’t get all the stuff done, try what I laid out for you here. You have to be really diligent and intentional, but you will win the day. I promise you that.

#2 Avoid hitting the snooze button.

How we set-up our day determines how we end our day.

It’s so common for many of us to hit the snooze button everyday. The amount of sleep you get never feels like enough, so you use your snooze button to tack on an extra 10,20, 30 minutes… whatever you can squeeze in.

Those stolen minutes – as delicious as they seem – aren’t worth it.

I’ve heard you should get up as soon as your alarm rings – but why is hitting that snooze button bad for your?

Turns our this habit is counterintuitive; instead of giving us a little more rest, it makes us more tired during the day.

The body needs some time to get you ready to wake up. When you let yourself go back to sleep, your body thinks, “False alarm! I guess I didn’t need to do anything, because we’re not getting up after all,” and settles in.

When that buzzer goes off a second time, your body and brain are taken by surprise, resulting in the groggy, fuzzy-headed feeling called sleep inertia. The more you snooze, the more confused your body and brain get (“So are we going back to sleep or not?!”), so you’ll probably feel more out of it even though you spent extra time in bed.

What’s more, this groggy, fuzzy-headed feeling can persist for up to two to four hours.

This sleep inertia ads to difficulty getting our day started. It’s harder to get in the zone and focus. Our attention span is shorter throughout the day. We get cranky more easily and we give up on ourselves.

At day’s end, we feel like garbage because we didn’t get our stuff and then we repeat the snooze button habit all over agin.

The answer here is simple.

Set your alarm for the time you really want to get up. When your alarm goes off, GET UP!

#3 Avoid jamming your schedule so tight that you can’t breathe.

I have full days, like head down, 8:30 to 6p.m.

But I also have cushion built in my calendar.

You’ll see 15-30 minute or one-hour chunks of time with literally the name cushion on them. That means that between coaching sessions, meetings, recording podcasts or writing blogs, I give myself a buffer where I have space to breathe, go walk or cuddle with Kipp, refill my water bottle, grab some lunch, whatever it might be.

I always have a built-in cushion because I don’t want things to be so tight that one coaching session runs into the next or other tasks that take me longer than planned screw up my entire day. It’s like a domino effect everything falls apart.

If you can start to get into the practice of adding a little cushion to your calendar, I promise you, you will not feel so depleted and tired at the end of the day.

Wrapping It Up

Again, here’s the three things I avoid to stay on top of my day.

The first is that I avoid ending the work day without a plan for the next day.

Second, I avoid hitting the snooze button. Now that you know how it kills your focus during the day, I hope you avoid it too.

Third, I avoid packing my day so tight that I can’t breathe.

It’s one day at a time. Avoiding these three things helps me stay on top of my game and get a lot done throughout the day, throughout the weeks, throughout the months, throughout the quarters, and throughout the year.

I hope they help you too!

Looking for more support on taking charge of your days? Check out

THE FAIL PROOF PLANNING SYSTEM

Giving you all the coaching and tools you need to tackle every day with confidence.

You gotta be realistic. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re only human. You’re going to fail.

And yes, it can be frustrating seeing everyone around you succeed while you’re having setbacks.

So what do you do when the person that you’re disappointed in is you?

There are 3 unhealthy go-to responses to feeling disappointed in yourself.

#1 Punishing Yourself

When you’re experiencing frustration with your choices, you punish yourself by not allowing yourself to enjoy good things, rejecting others’ praise or engaging in negative self-talk. – to name a few.

#2 Avoidance

Sometimes when you’re disappointed in yourself, you choose denial as a response. You decide avoidance is best. It’s best to not talk about your failure, to pretend that it never happened.

Denying either that you ever set the goal in the first place or that you strayed from it will not help you improve or achieve future results. You must be honest with yourself (and others, where appropriate) if you want to grow.

#3 Giving Up

Giving up is so easy to do when you set goals for yourself and don’t complete them. When you’re faced with your own failures it’s sooooo easy to give up. You are harsh and judgmental with yourself.

It’s as if you’ve decided that only complete perfection is worth striving for. One mistake or failure is enough to disqualify the value of all your efforts. And that’s simply not true.

It’s normal to not always meet your own expectations, even when you’ve set realistic goals. But an “all or nothing” approach is not going to move you forward.

Here are 6 Healthy Ways to Bounce Back After Letting Yourself Down

#1 Accept What Happened

It’s part of grief, part of life, and yes, a part of disappointment.

The first step to getting over any shame or embarrassment is to simply accept what went wrong.

Avoiding or glossing over it won’t help you move on.

If you need a good long cry, go for it. (Been there.) If you want to wallow for a few hours, you’re entitled. (Been there, too.) But then it’s time to brush yourself off and figure out exactly where things went wrong.

Simply saying to yourself, “I’m disappointed because I didn’t meet the goal I set for myself,” might make you see that this big issue isn’t the overwhelming monster you believe it to be – it’s actually a series of events that you can learn from.

#2 Be Your Own Best Friend

It’s easy to judge yourself in these situations, but let’s take one or two steps to find a new perspective.

If your friend came to you with the same issue – she was disappointed in herself for not having a stellar quarterly review, or bombing open-mic night – what would you say to her?

Probably not, ‘I’m so disappointed in you. You can do better. “

Rather, you’d be supportive and kind and listen to exactly what went wrong.

Treating yourself and your disappointment like a close friend can help ease the blame and help you practice more self-compassion.

#3 Change the Soundtrack Playing In Your Head

If you’re feeling disappointed, it’s only natural that your thoughts run amuck to the land of self-doubt where every thought you have reinforces that feeling that you let yourself down again.

It’s so easy to believe everything you think. But, you have to know, thoughts are not facts. So, stop believing everything you think.

Here’s how:

  • Instead of thinking, “I’m a failure,” think, “I’m a work in progress.”
  • Instead of thinking, “It never works out for me,” think, “I’m getting closer every day.”
  • Instead of thinking, “I can’t handle this,” think, “It’s here to teach me something.”
  • Instead of thinking, “I can’t do it,” think, “I’ll never know until I try.”

Disappointment is only the enemy when you give it all the power through your thoughts and words. Make disappointment your friend and you’ll be amazed at what you learn.

#4 Do an Honest Review

To make positive changes, you most definitely need to spend some time reflecting on what went right, and what went wrong.

Ask yourself questions about why and how you disappointed yourself. How did the circumstances affect your choices? Do your goals or the implementation need to be reexamined?

Take this time to learn more about yourself, your tendencies and what you want to do.

There are so many lessons to learn from these huge or little blips of disappointment.

The first major lesson?

You know what NOT to do next time.

When you’ve passed the “acceptance” stage, start to figure out where things went wrong by asking yourself these questions:

  • Did you give yourself enough time?
  • Did you do the necessary prep work?
  • Did you set clear boundaries?
  • Did you ask for help?

Digging into these questions will expose any of the flaws in your plan. Instead of saying “Oh well, I guess it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to,” or beating yourself up, you’ll be armed with knowledge and be able to pivot.

#5 Use It

Understanding where your plan went sideways is crucial to plotting your next big endeavor.

We’ve all heard it, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over agin and expecting a different result.”

But see, now you’re not going to do the same thing over and over again! Look at all you’ve learned from reviewing the entire situation! Yes, you’ve learned from this disappointing experience.

So, now that you understand how you ended up in this situation, you can make a plan to get back on track and avoid disappointing yourself in the future.

Your plan should be realistic to the demands of your life and involve small, attainable steps for you to get there.

Think ahead of potential challenges that could derail your goals and how you will tackle them. Set yourself up for future success.

#6 Realize This Is All Just Because You Care

Ah, yes, the most important lesson of all:

The thing about being disappointed is that it reveals what you actually care about.

You wouldn’t be so upset if you weren’t invested in the outcome, and that in of itself is a great thing.

Disappointment can act like a radar system, pinpointing exactly where you are – and where you want to be.

While you might feel like shying away from it if things aren’t turning out your way, listen to your instincts. You’re disappointed because you care, and that passion is what will keep you moving forward.

Final Thoughts

When you take the time to learn from your disappointment, you’ll be more prepared the next time a challenge comes up.

If you are disappointed in your actions, use that disappointment as motivation to find a solution and try again. Use your disappointment as a catalyst to make good choices. What matters in this moment is how you choose to move forward.

When I was growing up I kept a pretty, pink diary hidden under my mattress. And of course, it had a lock on it. OMG, I would’ve died if anyone read my deepest thoughts, dreams, and worries. And I’m sure there were some secret crushes in there that absolutely had to remain secret.

Keeping that diary was so good for me and I wish I would have never stopped “paper-thinking” – or today it’s called journaling.

The last few years have taken its toll on me (and I’m sure you can relate) so I started journaling and it’s brought me so much clarity, and reduced my stress and anxiety.

So I want to share with you the 5 Step Technique that makes journaling easy – that won’t leave you staring at a blank page.

All of my fellow journalers already know this.

Getting your thoughts out of your brain and onto a piece of paper is often all the relief you need. Thinking about what you are thinking about on paper is sometimes just enough to allow you to stop the spinning thoughts in your head.

Now, you might think that journaling is just figuring out the garbage that you are thinking about during the day. Yes, that is one way to journal. But there’s more.

Journaling can basically be broken down into 7 categories.

  1. Your past
  2. Other people
  3. Things in the world
  4. Yourself
  5. Your future
  6. Gratitude
  7. Goals

All of these are things you can journal and write about.

So many of us sit around thinking all kinds of garbage about journaling. When you hear, “you need to journal,” do you think…

Ugh, journaling takes too long,

I don’t know what to write about,

This aint gonna help me do the darn thing,

I’m scared of what I might uncover,

I’m so ashamed of what I think so I’d rather not do it,

I don’t seem to go deep enough?

Here’s the problem. If you don’t change your attitude about journaling, you’ll be denying yourself major breakthroughs, a path to finally doing the things you’ve been too afraid to do.

We all got mental baggage that we can’t see throughout the day. But, the problem isn’t the baggage. The problem is leaving our baggage unchecked and unsupervised each day.

When you don’t see your default thinking on paper that means you get to see your default thinking coming true in your life in the form of self-sabotage, overthinking, or worrying.

And when I say paper, I mean actual paper that you write on with a pen or pencil. I don’t want you to type on your computer. I want you to write it with your hand. I mean, call me old school, but there is something powerful about sitting in a quiet room with a notebook on your lap and physically writing it down. Studies have shown your are having a deeper experience than when you’re just typing it. I’m not going to quote the studies, but I promise they’re out there.

So, here’s how I set up my routine. It’s very simple. I’m committed to ten minutes of journaling 3-4 days a week. I’m working up to 5 days. Yes, I absolutely could do longer than 10 minutes, and sometimes I do. But you have to set yourself up for success. So for me, 10 minutes is something I know I can do and a short-enough period of time that I will not let myself make any excuses not to do it.

Here’s the 5-Step Journaling Technique I use.

Step 1: Observe

The whole point of journaling is to just notice what you’re thinking about in any give situation. You want to ask questions that will get your brain willing to respond, like;

What problem am I trying to solve? What are the things I’m worried about today?

Another great way to get your thoughts going and get words on the page is to make a gratitude list because you want to explore some of the great things that are happening in your life, too.

You could also start with your to-do list for the day. Then ask yourself, “What are my thoughts about getting this done today? What are the easiest things to do? What are the most important things I could do from this list?

Remember, journaling for today can literally be three sentences about what you’re thinking. You just want to notice what’s coming up for you.

Step 2: Accept

A lot of people are judgmental of their thinking. I am one of them. When they observe their own thoughts, they start saying judgmental things to themselves like, “I’m ridiculous,” or “What’s wrong with me?” “Okay, listen. This is terrible. But I was thinking…”

Listen here. It’s not terrible.

Everyone has thoughts that don’t necessarily serve them. It’s not weird and it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Give yourself some grace. And when you do this, it takes the pressure off of journaling, meaning no thought is “bad”, anything goes, and it allows you to start taking some authority over this process of getting your thoughts and feelings onto paper.

Step 3: Neutralize

This is when you take all the inflammatory language out of your thoughts.

Instead of thinking and writing.

“Ill never be able to grow my business,” you instead want to write something like, “I’m in the process of trying to grow my business.”

You want to take everything down a notch. Take a look at the thoughts that you have that are highly charged with emotion and highly triggering.

I’ll go over my notes at the end. I’ll look for adjectives and adverbs and descriptors, and literally cross them out.

The goal is to strip your thinking down to a neutral place because it allows you to see more of the facts.

When the emotional charge is removed, you’re able to start thinking from a clean slate, which is way more productive and so much better for your mental health.

Step 4: Recalibrate

Ask yourself, “What’s my next best thought?

If you’re thinking something like, “I’ll never be able to build my business,” and then you neutralize that to “I’m building a business,” your next best thought might be, “I am doing all the things I need to do to build my business right now.” So your next best thought is, “I’m in it. I’m doing it. This is happening.”

Step 5: Activate

Ask yourself, “What’s the next move I can make?”

It could be, to just let it go and stop worrying about things you can’t control. Or it could be, I’m going to call that person I’ve always wanted to collaborate with for my business.

Answer it. No excuses. And do it!

Your Next Steps

That’s it, friend!

I don’t want you to get to the end of your journaling practice where you just feel bad. I’ve been there. It’s like I just literally threw up on the page and I’m journaling all the challenges I’m worried and frustrated about. I don’t feel like it was cathartic. I feel like I just complained for ten minutes.

That’s why I make sure I do this 5-Step Technique, especially when I’m having a really hard time, and I put a lot of negativity on the page. I know I’m going to gently massage these thoughts into something factual, honest, and actionable.

If journaling isn’t part of your daily practice right now, I want you to look at your calendar and schedule 10 minutes – that’s it – 10 minutes to work through the process.

It takes some time to get used to, and you don’t have to do it for every journaling session. But I really do believe that it makes a huge difference.

Now, there is one final thing I’d love for you to do, whether you’re new to journaling or not. Take out your journal and write down the 5 steps on the inside cover or somewhere so you’ll see them. (Observe, Accept, Neutralize, Recalibrate, and Activate)

Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time to make it through your to-do list?

Me too.

The size difference between what I need to do and how much time I had in the day used to drive me bonkers.

But then I realized something helpful. I’ll always have more ideas, more projects, more tasks and more dreams than I can possibly accomplish on the to-do list.

That’s not failure.

That just means my imagination is bigger than my calendar. No puny calendar is a match for my ability to create new ideas and projects.
What freedom that is!

So, I thought I’d share 3 ways that I manage my huge imagination and encourage you to keep dreaming and imagining.

#1. Get your ideas out of your head.

Everything doesn’t have to go on your calendar. I know, I know. How many times have I preached about having a plan?

Here’s the truth. Not every idea is meant to come to life. Maybe it’s simply an idea that will lead to another, and another and finally another idea that you will bring to life.

Get a notebook or an app on your phone, and write down these creative ideas to get them out of your head. As long as an idea is in your head, it’s taking a little bit of your attention. Keep a rolling list, and trust yourself to look at the list later and take action.

Don’t overcomplicate it. The goal is to be able to capture ideas anytime, any place. The act of writing it down might also be enough to make it stick in your memory.

#2. Tap into your creative energy.

Decide which idea you will explore first.

  • Which idea gets your heart racing?
  • Which idea have you shared with someone because, well, it’s THAT good?
  • Which idea is screaming, “Pick me, pick me.”?

Don’t overthink it. Listen to your gut. Pick one and get started.

Here’s a little secret. You don’t need to schedule a time to work on the idea you choose – unless you really NEED to.

Instead, dive in when you’re feeling that creative energy. If you’re more creative at night, do it then. Pay attention to the times of day your creativity is at its’ peak.

Sometimes, you’ve got to let your energy guide you to where you want to be spending your time.

#3. Let it go.

It’s okay to flirt with multiple ideas. After all, flirting is harmless.

But if you find yourself starting a hundred things and never finishing, try this.

Before starting a new idea, ask yourself these questions about the idea you have already started.

  • Am I still interested in this?
  • Does this excite me?
  • Why is this important?
  • What have I learned since I started this, that has change my energy around it? For example, you discovered you don’t have the money, time, expertise or you’ve learned the results would be harmful or goes against your values.

If your answers are telling you that your heart isn’t in it anymore that’s okay.

Cross it off your idea list, and call it done.

When we don’t finish something we are too quick to say ” I failed”. Not motivating at all. Instead, you need to “call it” – GAME OVER! Move on to something else. Give yourself that closure and move on to your next big idea.

Remember, you are a creative being. Share your ideas with others. Think the craziest things. Let your imagination run wild.

Being introverted is hard – especially when the world is set up for extroverts. The expectation is that you be an extrovert, and if you’re not, well, be one anyway.

It’s crazy because they’ve found that the most effective leaders are introverts. That introverts are creative and change the world. Some of these introverts include Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Isaac Newton, and Van Gogh.

People think being introverted means you are shy, anti-social and boring.

Not true. Being introverted doesn’t mean we’re not outgoing, it means we focus more on inner thoughts and ideas.

Extroverts get energized by others, whereas we recharge through solitude.

Yes, the truth is that introverts are misunderstood. It’s up to us, to clear up this confusion.

Did you know that only 1 out of 3 people are introverts? Shout out to all my fellow introverts.

Research has found that introverts have a thicker prefrontal cortex than extroverts, which is linked to deeper thought, problem-solving and planning.

Introverts have more thoughtful and meaningful relationships than extroverts do. While extroverts love conversations, introverts think before they speak, leading to slower, more thoughtful communication.

Of course, this can be frustrating for our extrovert friends. And it can leave us introverts in the dust, never saying what we want to say because the conversation has moved on.

As an introvert, you can still be highly successful, no matter what field of work you’re in. Trust me on this one.

There’s tons of books out there on the differences between extroverts and introverts. But the goal of this post is to share with you 6 ways that I thrive as an introvert in this extroverted world. My hope is they will help you thrive too.

#1. Feel the feelings

Tell yourself, “I’m okay. This dread that I’m feeling is just because I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. But I know the rewards will far outweigh the dread.”

That’s the thing. You let yourself feel the dread, the worry, the uncomfortable awkwardness, the uncertainty, the feeling of being less than. Tell yourself, “I promise, it’s going to be so worth it.”

Are you willing to feel the feelings that are not the most desirable? The word that’s most important here is willing willing to feel icky feelings to get you to where you want to be? And if you just answered yes, my friend, you are golden.

#2. Manage your energy

You know you can only do so much of these types of things that zap your energy. Set boundaries about how often you do things that you know will leave you exhausted.

Also, after any event or interaction, really any situation where you’re putting yourself out there, you just need to block some time to be alone and just hide out for a few moments or a day afterwards, depending on the situation. Plan for it. Take some time for rest.

#3. Take a break in the middle of the overwhelm

When we’ve had large parties at our home, and I’m talking about with friends and family who I know really well and I’m super comfortable with, I take pockets of time to hide. I sound ridiculous saying that. I hide because I just need a little quiet downtime.

So that’s the weird thing about being an introvert, especially an introvert like me. I want to be a part of it. I get FOMO when I’m not invited. I want to be in the action, but I don’t. And that’s the battle of it all.

So when people are here or I’m at someone else’s house, I’ll go make myself busy cleaning up in the kitchen or just get a snuggle with my Sheltie Kipp. Then I come back in, and I’m good to go.

#4. Exit your comfort zone

Here’s what I know for sure about being an introvert in an extrovert world.

Unfortunately, there are times that I need to come out of my introvert tendencies.

There are moments where I must be an extrovert, meaning there are moments that I’ve got to show up. And the reason that’s important to me as a coach and entrepreneur is that I want to create a community and support people the best way I know how.

And hiding and not wanting to engage is not something that feels right for me. So I know how to be an extrovert when I need to be. I also know that when all is said and done, I’m still an introvert to my core.

#5. Acknowledge and use your strengths

It comes down to your mindset. Do you view your introverted personality as a downfall or as one of your strengths?

For example, one of my strengths is that I’m an expert (active) listener. I know without a doubt, that I absolutely would not be the coach I am, if I wasn’t an introvert.

In conversations, I like to sit back and let other people drive. I take things in and contribute when relevant. And if I want to be a supportive friend, I’m not there to jump in. I’m there to hear you, ask questions, and be a sounding board, and I’m pretty good at it.

What are your introverted strengths? Celebrate them and use them every single day!

#6. Tell people what you need.

It may sound something like:

  • I need to take a break
  • I’d rather go out to dinner with you and catch up instead of hanging out at a large party where I’ve got to make small talk with people.
  • I need you to be patient with me if I don’t respond right away. I’m very intentional with my words and don’t like rushed communication.
  • I need you to understand that I’m an empath and and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and I pick up on others emotions at a much higher intensity than others, causing anxiety and overwhelm. I’m okay. I just need a minute.

Wrapping It Up

Being an introvert doesn’t have to be a weakness, it can be a huge strength. Thriving in this world as an introvert is challenging. It’s a delicate dance. I don’t always get it right. And that’s okay.

Share this with other fellow introverts. We all need to know that we’re not alone, even if we mostly prefer some solitude.

No matter how much you love your work, how flexible its hours are, how much it allows you to balance work with life, eventually you’ll need to unplug and take a break to wash off the inevitable buildup of stress. On vacation you can relax in a way that a weekend simply doesn’t allow you to.

But all good things come to an end. It’s likely you’ll be dreading work toward the end of your vacation. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Here’s what to do before, during and after you vacation to get yourself back in the saddle as quickly and stress free as possible.

Before You Leave

Set up an Out-of-the-Office Message

This one is obvious but has to be mentioned. No matter if you plan to check messages or ignore them while you’re gone, this at least lets your co-workers and clients know to expect less or no communication. An auto-responder message will immediately respond to any emails you’ve received with your message letting everyone know that you are on vacation and when they can expect to hear back from you.

Create a List of Your Ongoing Projects

While it’s fresh in your mind, make a list of what you have to prioritize when you return. It’s easier than trying to remember it later, and your future self will thank you for getting organized in advance.

For each project, detail it’s status, and note specifically where you are going to start when you return. Retracing your steps wastes time and causes unnecessary frustration.

Hand Over Some Work That Can’t Wait

You could need some help to keep work moving while you’re gone. Ongoing work projects or active clients may need help during your absence.

You may want to have someone send out emails, blog posts, and social media posts while you’re gone. Or consider scheduling these yourself before you leave.

Lastly, give your coworkers any outstanding deadlines. Make sure to leave clear instructions if you want to avoid any calls asking for help.

Clean up at Home and the Office

Any good vibes from a vacation can be ruined quickly when you return to a messy home. Do the dishes, de-clutter the rooms, and take out the trash.

The same thinking applies to your desk or office. De-clutter the desk, organizing or throwing away the mail. Go through any stray papers and file or get rid of them.

Clean up your email. Delete old messages and reply to those that can’t wait for your return.

It’s hard to think about everyday chores when you’re planning a vacation, but you’ll feel more at ease if you return to a clean home and workplace.

During Vacation

Capture Ideas

Vacations have the incredible ability to add a fresh perspective to aspects of your work. You might come back from vacation and realize that things you were doing a particular way previously could be done better another way. You may have a great idea for a new program or product. Be prepared to have a small journal or capture these fresh ideas on your phone. If a vacation gives you ideas to make you more productive or serve people better, don’t let them slide by.

After Vacation

Add a Buffer Day

Don’t take a trip to the other side of the world and fly a red eye back the day you’re supposed to start working. Unless it’s a stay-at-home vacay, place at least one day between when you come back from your trip and when you have to start work.

This isn’t just to deal with some terrible jet lag. It can be a day of the weekend or an extra vacation day, but schedule a break between vacation and work

Some people call it a “vacation after the vacation,” but it’s really a chance to get back to your normal routine with the least amount of stress. There’s more to catch-up on than work when you return. Laundry, grocery shopping even sleep is necessary before jumping back into a normal work week.

Regain a Sense of Control

This means going through your emails, documents, news, and other messages to understand what’s been going on.

Schedule time dedicated solely to replying to emails in advance. If you schedule this before you leave the office, you won’t be scrambling the first day back trying to balance everything you need to do.

While going through your emails you will inevitably come across things that need to get added to your to-do list. Once you’ve captured them, prioritize those tasks on another list. These two lists alone will help tame the chaos and give you a good ideas what you need to do first.

Avoid All Meetings Except This One

If you have the misfortune of working for a company that likes meetings where an email or Slack message could do, resist all attempts to schedule meetings from the moment you’re back.

On your first day back, schedule a meeting with your assistant, business partner, key team member, or an accountability buddy to go over new priorities that have popped up, set your goals for the week, and to create a plan for how you’re going to get it done.

Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself

Take it easy at first. You’re allowed to pick up steam; few people will expect you to be fully productive from the second you start working. Write out the two lists mentioned above and going down the priority list, complete each task one by one. Avoid the temptation to multitask. Eventually, you’ll feel as if you’re back in the swing of things. Just don’t think you need to do everything immediately.

Plan Your Next Vacation

One way to alleviate the post-vacation blues is to plan your next vacation. It could be months away, but work is much easier when you’ve got something to look forward to. It doesn’t need to be a long vacation. It could just be an activity or long weekend. Plan something you’re excited about!

Wrapping It Up

What you do before, during and after your vacation all have a huge impact on your stress levels when you return. Implement these steps and the benefits of your vacation will linger longer!

There ‘s a huge difference between being “burnt out” and feeling “stuck”.

FEELING STUCK

Feeling stuck is a signal from your body, mind and spirit. The same way hunger or thirst is a signal. It means you need something.

When you’re stuck you need personal growth. Your life has gotten boring, stagnant, or predictable.

Feeling stuck comes from losing a connection with yourself because you are so bogged down with your day to day life.

You’re busy getting things done and you’re no longer learning anything new. That monotony makes you feel tired, complacent, and stuck.

BEING BURNT OUT

Burn out happens when you’ve had relentless demands or never-ending pressure put on you. Your nervous system is taxed and on edge.

You feel physically, cognitively, and emotionally exhausted, making it difficult to focus or feel good about yourself, your job, or even your personal life.

Being burnt out comes from chronic stress that hasn’t been managed correctly. This kind of continual stress leads to heightened cortisol levels and adrenal fatigue, furthering the cycle of making you feel tired and spread thin.

According to Psychology Today, one of the main signs of burnout is chronic fatigue. You feel physically and emotionally exhausted no matter how much sleep you get, how many breaks you take, or how much caffeine you consume… you just don’t feel like your regular self or get a boost of energy no matter what you do.

You feel disengaged and uninspired.

Instead of feeling invested, your feel detached which leads to losing your connection to yourself and the pride you used to have in your work.

You start to feel uninterested in things that normally bring you joy.

You feel like you might collapse if one more thing happens unexpectedly or gets added to your plate.

You find you’re more easily distracted or feel like you can’t get into the groove of work, even with tasks that you usually enjoy or love to do.

Solutions to feeling stuck:

  1. Get intentional about growing as a person.
    Pursue something NEW that interests you (sign up for a class, learn a second language, try a new hobby, or re-engage with a project that interests you).
  2. Spend time on things and with those that matter to you most.
  3. Celebrate every win!
    Small wins, my friend, small wins. They’re what keep you going. Do a happy dance, high-five yourself in the mirror. So what’s it going to be for you? Celebrate the the little stuff – because all those small wins will become a BIG sweet success.
  4. Keep moving forward!
    You must keep pushing on, even when you feel uninspired or down on yourself or just plain stuck.

    These are the moments that make or break you. Those “break” moments? That’s when I want you to cling a little tighter. Most people will quit when things get tough. Days will be filled with doubt and fear, questioning and exhaustion. But do you know that else they will be filled with? JOY! So much joy.

    Next time you feel uninspired, move through it anyway. Just a tiny bit of momentum can move you from uninspired to feeling ready to jump in again.

    There will be moments when you are digging in and it feels confusing. There will be days when you question if you are really cut out for this. Or maybe the ideas are just not flowing. Don’t quit! Keep moving forward.

    Progress not perfection, my friend. It doesn’t matter what pace you move at, just keep moving forward, okay? Forward is forward, that’s all that matters.
  5. Have some dang fun!
    When life gets too serious, your thoughts tend to get heavy. You are built to have fun. You are built to feel connected. So, if you’re in a “fun-drought”, plan something exciting to do this weekend. Not only will you get a burst of energy every time you think about it coming up, but you’ll get a second burst of energy from the experience itse.

Remember, you are a happy, passionate, and confident person at your core. Give yourself a break to reset or to start growing in new ways again. It’s the only way to get reconnected to yourself again.

Solutions to being burnt out:

  1. Talk to your family and friends for support.
  2. Self-care! Focus on getting sleep, good nutrition, exercise, social connection, meditating, journaling, and enjoying nature.
  3. Set boundaries with your colleagues, clients, and even family members for how much you’re willing to take on.
  4. Rest. This is different from getting sleep. This is about giving yourself a break.

    Studies show that rest can increase your productivity and efficiency. So if you need to lean on that fact to grant yourself the time and space, do it! If you can, take some intentional time away from work or at the very least create boundaries and get some accountability around holding strong to them.

    Maybe you can take a week, or a long weekend or an afternoon off. Maybe it’s as simple as shutting down email and getting off your screens.

    Rest takes work, especially if your tendency is to be working all the time. For me, resting takes conscious effort but it’s worth it. I have to remind myself to slow down, to not be productive and to do things for the sake of play.

THE BIG PICTURE

You can’t go on like this. Taking a break isn’t a reward. It’s your right. If there was ever a time to find the courage to ask for time off or to take it – it’s right now.

Whether you’re stuck or burnt out, you MUST tune into what you’re feeling and give yourself what you need.

It’s actually our thinking – not our doing – that keeps us stuck.

We have all these thoughts – and we use these thoughts as excuses for not achieving a goal, or handling a problem, or not making the most of the opportunities life throws our way.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • I’m afraid of making a mistake.
  • I’m just not confident enough to do this.
  • I just don’t have enough time or money.
  • I’m afraid of what others might think.
  • It just isn’t the right time.

Dang, we all think and say these things, quite often.

Excuses keep you stuck in limbo. You want all these wonderful things, but you will never have them because the excuses you make prevent you from moving forward.

The trick is to turn your excuses into action.

Here’s how:

Excuse #1: I’m afraid of making mistakes… I’m hesitant because I’ll probably goof this up.

Turn it into action by accepting the fact that mistakes are a natural part of life. We all make mistakes. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t make mistakes. No matter how much experience you have, you are still going to make mistakes. They help you learn and grow from the experience.

In fact, making mistakes is a natural part of success. As long as you take time to learn from your mistakes, they can lead to huge growth opportunities and insights that will help you move forward in a better way. Now, go make some mistakes. You’ll learn soooo much!

Excuse #2: I’m just not good enough… I’m just not confident enough to do this and make this work.

Turn it into action by acknowledging that self-confidence comes with competence (practicing skills) and experience. It’s perfectly okay and normal to lack confidence when you’re doing something for the first time. The more you do something the less scary it becomes. Familiarity breeds confidence.

Taking action is the fastest way to prove your fear wrong. When you take action, you learn that you’re safe and nothing bad happens when you try new things. Go do something new right now!

Excuse #3: I don’t have enough time or money… I’m sooo busy and I can’t even tell you where all my money goes.

Turn it into action by committing yourself to improving your time and money management skills. Managing your time and money is all about effective prioritization.

You will always find the time and money for the things you prioritize. Figure out what’s most important and then let go of everything else. Also, be cutthroat when it comes to eliminating distractions and wasteful spending. Make your time and money plans now!

Excuse #4: I’m afraid of what people will think… People are going to judge and criticize me.

Turn it into action by knowing that the only opinion that truly matters is yours! No matter what you do, you will NEVER EVER satisfy absolutely everyone in your life.

Stop trying to please everyone else and please yourself instead. Yes, there will always be someone who will judge and criticize you. You decide if you give that someone the power to hold you back. Now, keep your head down and focus on doing what’s important to you.

Excuse #5: This is just not the right time… I’ve got soooo much going on.

Turn it into action by acknowledging the fact that there is never really a right or a perfect moment to do something. Waiting for the perfect moment might mean that you miss out on opportunities that may never pop up again. With this is mind, commit to getting started in a small way today. Go take one small step right now and start!

Remember, all of these excuses – that keep you stuck in a constant state of procrastination – stem from a lack of confidence. Catch yourself when you are making these excuses and make a conscious decision to take action instead. Your future self will thank you!

Are you soooooo done with everything being so dang hard and stressful?

We make things unnecessarily hard for ourselves.

You don’t get a badge of honor for having so much “hard” in your life..

No, no, no!

The only thing you get is a pile of stress and a toxic mindset of “life is hard” that bleeds into everything you do.

The thought of “this is hard” is a sneaky one. It’s not accurate. What we really mean is that doing some things is uncomfortable. Ummm…. uncomfortable isn’t the same as hard. Hard is painful. Discomfort is something we can tolerate until we get comfortable.

Most people aren’t willing to experience discomfort. We are wired to avoid pain (or perceived pain) far more than gain pleasure.

What’s the worst that could happen if you put yourself on the line by doing something new, scary or intimidating? A feeling. A temporary bad feeling. It will not kill you or even hurt you.

Research reveals that human emotions last for a whopping 90 seconds before changing shape.

90 seconds! We have more than 1400 minutes in a day, so I think we could all withstand almost anything for one and a half of them.

All emotions are temporary. Good and bad.

A courageous person knows that the cost of going for it is therefore worth it. Because what’s the risk, really? Experiencing some temporary uncomfortable emotions is as bad as it gets.

What would you be doing if you were willing to experience a negative emotion? Asking someone out or asking for a raise at work?

First, be willing to be uncomfortable and then try these 3 simple ways to let things be easy.

#1 Change the conversation.

The reason why things are hard is because we tell ourselves it’s hard.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Don’t Say:

This is gonna be so hard.

Instead Say:

I remember when I did xxxx, and I thought that was gonna be hard, but it really wasn’t.

Don’t Say:

This is huge.

Instead Say:

It’s just a book, (just an instrument, just a talk, just a dish, just a class, just a test).
Now when you finish that book drop the word “just”. Celebrate your accomplishment. When someone congratulates you, accept that and say “Yes!, I finished my book!” Not, “Oh it’s just a book. Lots of people write them.”

Don’t Say:

I don’t even know where to start.

Instead Say:

Hmmmm. This is new. I don’t know exactly know what to do, but I’ll figure it out as I go.

The names you give your work matter, they have power. How you describe something impacts how you show up or don’t show up. Words can make things seem big, intimidating or scary.

#2 Start Before You Start

Starting is usually the hardest part of anything. Well, unless you’re the kind of person who starts tons of things but never finishes them. Wherever you are on the start-finish spectrum, starting before you start will make a huge difference in the perceived difficulty of any task.

What you do the evening before you start matters just as much as what you do each morning. In fact, what you do the night before makes it much more likely that you’ll accomplish what you’re aiming to get done on any given day.

First, set your intention for the day. End each day by writing the 3-5 most important things you want to get done tomorrow. Schedule those things on your calendar.

The worst thing is getting to your desk and scratching your head trying to decide what you should do first. Decide the night before.

I wear 20 different hats in my business. I can choose from creating digital products, to working on certification stuff, to administrative stuff, to networking, to writing blog posts, to personal stuff, and the list goes on. If I leave it up to how I feel in the morning, I guarantee you I will not be working on what is most important.

Finally, set up your workspace so all you need to do is sit or stand at your desk and start.

Let’s say I decide the first thing I’m going to do tomorrow is record a couple videos. Now I need to physically set myself up to start.

  • Tonight, I am going to set up and test all my equipment.
  • I’m going to make sure everything I need is charged.
  • I’ll also let my family know I’m going to be recording at a certain time, so they don’t bust up my recording unknowingly.
  • I’ll decide on what I’m going to wear and lay it all out.

# 3 Take Baby Steps

Don’t focus on going from 0 to 100. Focus on going from 0 to 1.

Gradual progression always double your efforts and it’s the only way anyone achieves a goal.

So stop worrying about where you’ll be 100 days from now. Put your head down and focus on what you can make progress on right now.

It’s the tiny steps you take every single day that will pave the way to achieving anything. You just need to develop the simple discipline to do it.

According to Mel Robbins, simple discipline is the practice of making and keeping promises to yourself. These promises are the foundation for your daily life, which is the foundation for achieving your goals.

The only way to change the big things in your life is to change the small things first – your daily habits, your morning routine, your evening routine and everything in between.

Start by making your bed every morning. Yes, I make my bed even when I’m at a hotel. When you make your bed in the morning it will automatically make you feel productive since you just completed something. And doesn’t it look nice?! You can throw your covers over the wrinkled sheets, it doesn’t have to be perfect.

One small task can make a huge difference in making you feel more confident to start your day.

Wrapping it Up: 3 Simple Ways to Make Things Easy

#1 Change the Conversation

#2 Start Before You Start

#3 Take Baby Steps

If you’re looking for more ways to confidently get through the scary and hard things in life hop on the waitlist for my on-line course opening this month

UNDAUNTED: The Art of Taking Action Even if You Doubt Yourself.

We are busy people. Our clocks are thin and tired, our schedules full and bloated.

But somehow we find a way to give our time to a host of wonderful distractions.

Please don’t tell me you’re too busy to finish that on-line course and then tell me about all those yummy recipes you’re going to try after watching hours of cooking shows.

Please don’t tell me you’re too busy to write your novel and then give me intricate plot details about the six shows you’re watching.

Please don’t tell me you’re too busy to update your resume and then update your social media accounts constantly.

There is a reason the average 21-year-old has played 10,000 hours of video games.

There is a reason the average American watches 35 hours of TV a week according to Nielsen.

Our minds running on auto-pilot is the reason!

We make hundreds of mindless choices every day that don’t naturally gravitate to things that matter or work we really care about. Our brains are always looking for the easy way out.

It’s all a big lie. You can’t control or manage time.

But you can control your choices.

It’s about managing yourself in the space of time.

You can’t create more minutes in an hour or more hours in a day.

But, you can find more minutes and hours when you make better choices.

Here’s a better choice:

Wait 15 minutes to turn on Netflix and do something that matters to you. Work on a skill. Take a tiny step to move forward on a goal. Check something small off your to-do list.

I don’t care how busy you are. You have 15 minutes hidden somewhere in your day.

Ready for the challenge?

I dare you to rescue that tiny amount of time each day and then watch what happens this summer. That first 15 minutes will grow to 30 and then 45 and then 60. By the end of the summer, you will have worked for 1.500 minutes. You will have 25, on purpose, goal-crushing hours under your belt.

If you’re with me, pick one skill or goal you want to give your 15 minutes to and then get going. It’s possible to find time. All it takes is making a better decision.

Are you in a season that’s exciting and makes you want to jump out of bed everyday? Or, maybe you’re in a season where you feel kind of meh.? Or, maybe you’re in a season that’s stressful and exhausting and you can’t wait to get back to better days?

I’m in a rough season right now. It’s been grueling and has taken it’s toll on my relationships, my productivity, my energy, my focus, my self-esteem, and dare I say, my outlook.

I don’t want to bore you with the details of this season I’m in. Because, no one’s seasons are the same. Here are some different seasons you can probably relate to like; being a huge support to your grown/almost grown kids, taking care of aging parents. running your own business, staying in the game of your profession because, my gosh, you have worked so dang hard to get there.

Or maybe you’re in a season of transition; moving, becoming an empty-nester, divorce, mourning the end of a friendship that has run its course, a job change, retirement. The list is long.

Some seasons are full of joy. Others are full of sorrow. Others are little of both, AKA bittersweet.

I’ve come to learn that life is full of seasons and it’s how we navigate them that really matters. When a new season rolls around I get overwhelmed. I start to lose my footing, and as result, I become super vulnerable to anything that throws me off.

So, that’s why I wanted to share a couple different ways that I stay grounded, especially in situations like the past few weeks, when things have gotten really tough.

Here’s what has helped me stay grounded as I move from season to season.

Change Your Scorecard

We’re always wearing so many hats, and there’s only so much time to get things accomplished. If you are still measuring yourself by the high bar you set for yourself in a joyful season or a season where you were the master of your days and you are now in a season where your time is not your own, you need a new scorecard.

Why?

Because your priorities have changed. It’s time to change your expectations of yourself. There is absolutely no shame in putting things off for a few months or longer. If you’re in a really busy season you have to look at that calendar.

So, if you had all these projects you wanted to tackle but your time is now spent caring for a sick child, partner, or parent, you need to readjust your expectations. If you don’t, you’ll be constantly beating yourself up for “not getting anything done”. Trust me. It’s terrible for your self-esteem.

You should be measuring if you’ve been showing up for this person as best as you can. Have you brought your best self to the situation? Sure, you can keep one project on your scorecard, but lower the bar. I know that doesn’t feel good initially, but you will soon realize you just took a whole lot of pressure off yourself.

Remind Yourself You Are In A Season

One thing I do when things are tough is to remind myself that I’m in a season and that this, too, shall pass. The season I’m in right now is one I’ve been in for awhile, and it’s a whole lot of bittersweet.

Please hear me when I say that I’m not complaining. I’m beyond grateful to have my amazing family and friends. I’m so grateful for the business I’ve created and to have the opportunity to wake up and do the things that I love every single day. Truly. But just like you, I’m human, and sometimes it can be a lot.

By reminding myself that this is just a season and that it will eventually end, I’m able to rein in some of those negative thoughts and maintain a much better mindset.

Be Grateful

Now, on the flip side, when things are going really, really well – when you’re just hitting it on all cylinders, like, things are just moving and flowing – that, too, is a season.

I think about how I’m in a season right now that on one hand, I’m looking forward to getting out of, but on the other hand, I know there is an incredibly painful loss that defines the end of this season. Bittersweet.

Whether it’s a great season, or kind of a rough season like I’m in now, I’m just going to be grateful because I know the season I’m in now, I’m growing. And at the same time, I’m just grateful that I know things are going to move forward and change. And, if I was in an amazing season right now, I’d be grateful for it because I know it doesn’t always stay that way.

Breathe

When I started doing breathing exercises this year, I had no idea that I have the most shallow breath. It’s hard for me to take a really deep breath. Is it easy for you take a deep breath and count to four? Like, one, two, three, four, maybe fix, six? Can you do a little bit more and then hold it for four? And then let it out for eight? That’s what they do on the Calm app, I breathe in for four, hold for four, out for eight.

When you take a deep breath in, hold it and let it out, your entire body responds. Science backs this up. Deep breathing stimulates your vagus nerve that then calms you. I do this every morning before getting out of bed. Then you’ll find me throughout the day now just taking a moment, just taking a breath. Deep breathing gets me through those anxious moments.

Ask For Help

Finally, when I’ve got too many plates spinning in the air and I feel like they’re all about to come crashing down, I have to be brutally honest with myself. I can’t pretend that I’ll somehow get it all done. This is so closely tied to Changing Your Scorecard above. Lying to myself is only going to make it worse for me and everyone else.

Instead, I need to lean on my amazing family and friends and delegate some things that I absolutely need to take off my plate. Most importantly, I can’t be afraid to ask for support.

So, in this season, I’m not worrying about getting dinner on the table or grocery shopping. My family is so capable and willing to take that on. I’ve had to push some big things off in my business and focus on my 1:1 coaching clients.

Wrapping It Up

When a new season is upon you, reprioritize your scorecard, eliminating, delegating, changing expectations. Remind yourself seasons of life are normal. You will be okay. Just breathe.

My friend, whatever season you are in, know we are all in this together. Right now is the time to love yourself hard. Love those around you you hard. Give yourself the space to move through your priorities at a pace that feels manageable to you. And in the moments you feel like you’ve jumped into more than you can handle or life has just dumped it on you, remember that you’ve got this, and I am so cheering you on.