Pause Life Coaching

Blog

When did we allow ourselves to be conditioned to hate 5 out of 7 days of our week? For most of us, Monday is the day we dread.

These “beliefs” have trapped us into work habits of low productivity.

Not only is stuff not getting done, but we keep beating ourselves up with negative chatter that feeds the bad habits.

Monday arrives, for many of us, a groggy shock to the system. It’s difficult to remember where you left off on Friday.

Unfortunately, according to productivity app Flow, most workers experience a slump on Friday when it comes to productivity. That means Mondays are forced to be the busiest days. They are compensating for Friday.

Mondays will never be productive if you wait until Monday to figure out what to do with the day and the week.

We start Monday’s having to find the energy to “start again”. For most of us it is literally starting over, which is not motivating.

We haven’t even left ourselves a trail of bread crumbs from where we left off on Friday.

This feeds our procrastination.

Read More

As you’ve been preparing to start college, you’ve likely been thinking of the ways — both good and bad — that it is going to be different than high school.

You’re going to be living in a new place with a roommate you probably don’t know. You’re going to be around all new people and have to make an entirely new group of friends.

Your parents aren’t going to be watching over your shoulder and nagging you to clean your room, but they also won’t be there to cook for you or do your laundry.

Stay excited about this new chapter in your life but prepare for the bumps ahead. Be realistic, there will be bumps. It’s how you prepare for them and tackle them that will make all the difference for you.

Read More

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just flick a switch and make your kids shyness go “POOF’”?

Your child wouldn’t worry anymore about what others think, no more embarrassment in front of other people. Your kid could just relax and feel comfortable and confident.

You could feel some relief from worrying about if your shy kid is going to get taken advantage of later in life.

It’s typical for our kids to not want help from us in their social lives. But, you CAN help. And here’s how.

Read More

Does it surprise you that lot’s of people are lonely and disconnected, despite our on-line connections of friends, followers and likes?

We’re missing out on the positive effects of sharing smiles and hugs with all this technology. When you add ADHD to the mix, the problem gets worse.

Some ADHD quirks get in the way of making and holding on to friends. Friendships depend on us being on time and being at the right place to meet; remembering names; remembering people’s stories; not putting foot in mouth; listening — not interrupting; not getting too close too quickly; being able to tolerate frustration; managing emotions, being patient.

You’ve Got Lots to Offer

On the flip-side, ADD’ers are, in many ways, gifted in friendships — being warm, generous, forgiving, and intuitive. Sadly, these great qualities aren’t recognized enough because the other quirky challenges of ADHD get in the way.

Friendships cost nothing but time and attention.

But they rely on us taking initiative. When one person is always the one to keep in touch, it gets old and the friendship eventually dies. Tending to your current friends is crucial. You have to check in with a person regularly to make sure the friendship stays healthy.

Think of one person you’d like to connect with more. Someone who you share a genuine and mutual connection with…..even if it’s been awhile since you’ve talked.

You’re hesitating?

Consider these four reasons why friendships are so important to our health and well-being before brushing this aside.

Read More

Do you feel like you have no control over your time when you’re chatting with someone?

Instead of learning how to take charge of the situation, you often avoid answering the phone or getting together with people.

You’ve tried to take control but it’s left you feeling awkward and uncertain if you handled it the right way.

Here are some ways you can end conversations and still be a good friend. You don’t have to worry about seeming rude or uncaring. You can end a conversation and still leave a good lasting impression.

Read More

Do you define success by “you having to do it all yourself”?

Imagine feeling peaceful, experiencing a deep feeling of well-being – my definition of success. How I get there is merely a strategy.

If you’re never feeling successful in your days, it’s time to start doing something different.

Read More

Are you your own worst bully?

Pay attention to the negative chatter in your head. Would you talk to a friend or your child that way? No?!

You deserve the same respect.

Yes. You. Do.

Next time you feel beat up notice who is throwing the punches.

If it’s you, it’s time to start building some self-love into your days.

Read More

Here’s a peek inside the mind of a teenage boy who isn’t just living with ADHD but FLOURISHING!

Take ADHD, spin it, toss it around, and catch it from the point of view of the true experts – those living with it, like Nathan.

And, this essay Nathan wrote, earned him a big, well deserved “A”!

Congratulations and Kudos to you Nathan for writing this and letting me post it.

Nathan wants other teens to know it can be different, if they want it to be.

Read More

Are you a good multi-tasker?

Think you are awesome at your work because you’re doing two things at once? Nope.

You just make yourself look bad. Or worse – stand to disappoint others and yourself.

We think multitasking is good or, at best, necessary, to help us be “productive” and get as much done as possible. Multitasking makes us feel very busy, like we’ve been productive. So why are so many of us strangely panicked at the sight of our scantly completed to-do lists?

Because multitasking is a constant interruption – a constant distraction.

Read More

There is no such thing as an unselfish gift. Have you noticed that “feel good jolt” you get when someone accepts a gift from you with excitement and energy? Unless you’re giving someone chicken pox, it’s hard to think of giving as a bad thing. And we can’t help it if it makes us feel good.

So what happens when someone gives us something and we don’t receive it with the same energy and excitement? We take that “feel good jolt” away from them.

Read More

Who is this older gentleman feverishly taking notes, wearing a business suit at the CHADD Conference? I assumed him a physician or school administrator. WRONG! He raises his hand and asks, “How can I be there for my granddaughter to support all her interests. She has so many. I want her to know I care but it’s hard when her interests change daily.” Wow. What a lucky girl his granddaughter is to call this gentleman Grandpa.

In another session, for women with ADHD, many women stood up and shared their struggles with ADHD and what they’ve learned to do to live with more ease. Their honesty, vulnerability, and sense of humor moved me beyond words. Talking about it with each other gives us community, support and understanding. Ladies, we are all stronger when we lean on each other. I urge you to find support in your community or start your own group!

For some at the conference, they would come out of a session and say, “I thought the speaker was talking about me! He described me, my habits, my fears, my goofs, my oops, my need for speed. He even knew of my desires to do more, to do it better, to do it without reminders, to not let others down, to not let myself down. I came here for someone else I care about with ADHD and discovered my own ADHD.”

That first self-diagnosis can leave many unsettled. Not knowing how to tell others. Not wanting judgment. Not knowing what to do next.

I’m  grateful for the ADHD community of professionals who work tirelessly to reach others who could really start rocking and rolling in their lives with just a little support.

Mostly, I’m grateful for those who are already stepping up and supporting someone they love living with ADHD.

What can you do when someone shares they suspect or know they’re living with ADHD?

Read More

Parents speak out on “what things are keeping them up at night about ADHD for their family.

  • “Will my daughter find people who can support her while she works on her social skills? Friends that can understand she can be inappropriate or come off as thoughtless. She just doesn’t have that awareness yet.
  • “Can my son learn skills he needs to take care of himself?
  • “I worry about my daughter socially more than ever. She gets bored with things…..and people very quickly.”
  • “The biggest concern I now have with my son is how to help him deal with anxiety.”
  • “I worry a lot about how my son would fit in, in the real world as an adult.”
  • “Will my daughter be able to manage on her own, get a job, hold a job, get bills paid?

Can you relate?
Worrying about how our kids will manage as adults is natural. We spend so much time worrying about algebra test scores we miss what is “missing”. Do we know our kids social intelligence score? Our kids need social muscle to achieve independence.

Those with ADHD frequently struggle with friendships. They’re often isolated and withdrawn. Some choose not to socialize. If they do, they may be rejected.

Worse, isolation and rejection may lead to other problems like depression and anxiety.

Read More